


Now You're Just Somebody that I Used to Know

by queerbioengineer



Category: Sanders Sides (Video Blogging RPF) - Fandom, Thomas Sanders, Thomas Sanders (Video Blogging RPF)- Fandom, Video Blogging RPF, prinxiety-fandom
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Abusive Relationship, Angst, Domestic Violence (implied), Drama, Emotional Abuse, Flashbacks, Fluff, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Minor Violence, Pining, Romantic Fluff, Self harm (implied), Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-03-13 10:01:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 26,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13568262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerbioengineer/pseuds/queerbioengineer
Summary: Set after "Can Lying be Good?"Roman wants to understand what really happened in there, but Virgil may have a more complicated past than the Sides realize.Can Virgil deal with his past coming back to haunt him? Or will he fall back into the same mistakes again?





	1. Chapter 1

 

“Are you gonna come in, or just stand out there breathing like a creep?” 

 

Despite his choice of words, Virgil’s comment towards his bedroom door didn’t pack its usual punch. After having ensured that Deceit had, in fact, left Patton unscathed, he had retreated up to his room in a hurry, a fact that did not go unnoticed by the slightly sheepish Side that had, until just now, been pacing back and forth out in the hallway. 

 

After a moment’s pause, the door creaked open, and Virgil glanced up from his phone to see a stray lock of faded purple hair poke into the dimly lit room. 

 

“Heyy, Friend-o,” Roman said, forced cheeriness tangible in his voice as his eyes adjusted to the unfamiliar darkness. “Got a moment to chat?” 

 

Virgil sighed. He had been expecting this, it was only a matter of time before the other Sides interrogated him. “I guess,” he muttered, feigning interest in his tumblr feed as he slumped further into his bed pillows.

 

Roman tiptoed his way inside, brushing a few empty chip bags off of Virgil’s bedspread before seating himself carefully on the edge (still a comfortable distance away, Virgil noticed). 

 

While Virgil was working on the whole “being nice” thing, he did tend to take slight amusement in how tense Roman got whenever he visited Virgil’s room. He could always count on the normally charming egomaniac to start rambling in an effort to ease his stress. On this occasion, however, Virgil couldn’t help but guiltily slink lower into his cushions, as he knew the reason for Princey’s stress had just about everything to do with him. 

“So, my dear pal, my dark and stormy night, my chemically imbalanced-“ 

 

“You want to know how I could tell it wasn’t Patton.” 

 

Roman sighed at Virgil’s blunt interruption, all pretense dropping from his tired face. “Why do you have to do that all the time, just see right through me,” he muttered. 

 

Virgil gave a humorless chuckle, staring harder at his phone so he didn’t have to meet Princey’s eyes. “Sorry, guess it’s a Dark Side thing.” 

 

Roman’s head whipped up, eyes widening as he reached a hand out tentatively to the hooded figure. “Hey, no, I didn’t mean it like-“

 

“It’s fine, Roman,” Virgil said quietly, switching off his phone, but still staring hard at his bedspread. “I mean, it’s not like you guys didn’t know where I came from, right?” 

 

Roman stayed silent. Virgil curled in on himself a little more tightly, taking a slightly shaky breath before going on. 

 

“And to answer your question, I’m used to Deceit’s tricks. I was kinda familiar with him before-“  he dropped his voice to an even fainter mumble- “before you guys started wanting me around.” 

 

Roman shifted uncomfortably, guilt seeping into his bones. “Well, I… understand if it’s hard for you… having circumstances place you at odds with an old friend-“ 

 

“ _ **No.**_ ” Roman jumped a bit, hand flying to his heart as Virgil’s voice took on the threatening timber he had heard only twice before, when he was entering Panic mode. The sullen Side closed his eyes a moment, steeling himself before continuing to speak in his normal voice. 

 

“I said I knew him. But he was never my friend, Roman. Not like you are.” The two Sides looked up at the same moment, before Virgil looked away with a mild blush and continued “like all of you are. So yeah, I knew it wasn’t Patton. There are a couple upsides to being this paranoid all the time.” 

 

Roman placed a comforting hand on the shoulder of his fellow Side, patting him hesitantly as if afraid to startle him. “There certainly are. And I am very glad that we have you with us now -hem, all of us are, that is. Patton, Logan, Thomas, you know.”

 

Virgil smirked, regaining his composure enough to tease the Prince. “Aw, you still think I’m hot, don’t you?” 

 

Roman gladly took the chance to break the tension in the room, which he was starting to think could actually be cut with a knife. Like, physically, there was tension swirling in the air. He kept off the bed, sweeping his arms in the air in jest. “Why yes of course, my dashing Cinder-fella, and like Scott Pilgrim, I would gladly defeat all seven of your evil exes to be with you!” The Prince turned to his anxious counterpart, expecting the flirty sort of banter they had going on to continue. 

 

To his dismay, Virgil seemed to have paled beyond his normally fair complexion, skin turning almost ashen gray as the smoke seeping through the room thickened and stormed at Roman’s feet. “You should go, Roman,” he said with unnerving seriousness. 

 

Roman frowned, confusedly. “What, what did I say? I was just kidding-“ 

 

“ _ **Get out of my room!**_ ” Roman shrieked at the sudden thunder of Virgil’s Panic Voice, shaking the foundation of the room. “Alright, alright, jeez I’m leaving. Mr. Grouchy…” Roman muttered, hastily making his way to the door and slamming it behind him as Virgil’s breathing intensified. 

 

Virgil willed the few lights in his room to extinguish, sinking into the familiar embrace of Panic as he attempted to ignore the old memories flooding in, the sinister voice creeping in the back of his head. 

 

“I’m not letting you in, again” he said to the room, despite knowing his loathsome ex to be locked far out of reach. He spoke a little louder. “I’m not going to let you hurt Thomas again.” 

 

But as Virgil finally sank into sleep, he could help but wonder if he really meant it, or if that was Deceit talking. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always appreciated :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of exposition...

 

The Light Sides remembered the day that Anxiety came to live with them in the Conscious Space. It was the forefront of Thomas’s mind, where the things that allowed him to function on a daily basis interacted and worked together to make him, essentially, who he was. 

At the time, the three of them felt as though they had been doing just fine on their own. Logic, Morality, and Creativity: the three essential components that made up one whole Thomas.

 They knew, of course, that there were other Sides, lurking in the Subconscious, contributing to the inner mechanisms of Thomas’s thought process and decision making. After all, a person had to be more than just three things. 

However, all they ever seemed to get from that area of the mind was trouble, so they did their best not to pay too much attention to “the others,” and interact with them as little as possible. 

 

Until the day that a fourth bedroom appeared in the Conscious Space. They had known it could happen, they just had hoped that it never would: someone was moving upstairs. 

 

Roman was furious. Thomas was just starting to grow into his creative potential, and now this curveball? A creepy crawler from the Subconscious, living with him and his two (barely even bearable) nerds? This was bad news, bad news indeed. He made a firm resolution not to even talk to this heinous newcomer whenever he showed his face, to simply snub him into submission and make sure he knew that Roman was the one who was really in charge here.

 

Which would’ve been a great plan, if their new roommate ever showed his face. But he didn’t. For years, the fourth roommate stayed locked away in his room, never even going so far as to share his name.

 

 But the Light Sides still felt his presence, a cold, tense feeling seeping out from under the door, not unlike the kind that Thomas felt in some of his darker moments. So long before he worked up the courage to venture outside his room, to make himself known to Thomas himself, the Sides knew who he was. 

 

Anxiety. 

 

After a long while, Thomas finally came to realize why he needed Anxiety in his life, and the Light Sides came around to appreciate Virgil’s presence in their group. But none of them ever thought to question Virgil’s life before he joined their group, or what exactly it was that caused him to move in with them. 

 

These are some of the things the Sides were left questioning after “Can Lying be Good,” as well as whether Virgil had left behind more sinister foes than just Deceit. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First half: present day  
> Second half: flashback  
> Trigger warning: emotional abuse

It was normal routine in the Conscious Space for Patton to get up at 8:00 AM and cook breakfast for everyone. Despite the other Sides insisting that he didn’t have to, since he wasn’t actually their Dad, he took joy in starting off his day by doing something nice for his friends. That, and the fact that not even Roman was foolish enough to pass up free food, had allowed Patton’s breakfasts to become fairly routine for the group. 

 

Needless to say, he was surprised when he padded softly down the stairs the day after Deceit’s appearance to smell something cooking already. Well, he thought, perhaps cooking was a generous term… 

 

“Oh, Patton, you’re awake 8 minutes sooner than usual,” Logan remarked, glancing up as he scraped a singed pancake into the garbage disposal. “I was not anticipating that,” he muttered to himself, frowning at the recipe on his phone.

 

“Why Logan, are you trying to make breakfast?” Patton took in the mess around him, noting that the normally tidy side had managed to get flour on every conceivable surface in the kitchen. “That’s usually my job, silly!” 

 

Logan huffed, wiping a bit of sweat off his brow. “Yes, and I therefore assumed that the procedure would be fairly straightforward, but it would seem that I’m not particularly…well, domestically inclined.” 

 

Patton let out an adorable little squeal. “Are you trying to say you’re a bad cook? Mr. Sherlock Holmes is actually bad at something?” he teased. 

 

Logan glared at Patton, but was unable to stay frustrated. “Maybe,” he mumbled. 

 

“Aww, Logan! It’s no problem, I can teach you how to cook if you want to!” Logan startled as he was suddenly enveloped in a warm hug, Patton squeezing him tightly despite the fact that he remained as stiff as a board. 

 

Logan frowned. The whole point of this endeavor had been to alleviate some of Patton’s daily responsibilities, due to him feeling… well, guilty. Ugh. Logan was guilty that he didn’t notice Patton’s disappearance yesterday before Virgil did. It made him feel… not good. 

 

He sighed to himself. Feelings were just so complicated. Definitely best left to Patton. “Yes, I suppose that would be acceptable.” 

 

“Yay!” Patton clapped excitedly, before darting around the kitchen to grab what they needed. Logan snorted fondly before he was able to catch himself. 

 

It seemed as though Logan’s worries about Patton feeling hurt by yesterday’s ordeal were for nought, as the softer Side laughed and chattered over breakfast with Roman and Virgil per usual. Feeling reassured by Patton’s normal behavior that amends  weren’t needed for Logan’s foolish lapse in perception, he allowed his attention to turn towards the other two roommates. 

 

Roman was quiet, but that was relatively normal, as the Prince character was always a grouch before his coffee. Virgil however, was picking at his food, barely engaging in the conversation at all. Logan looked closer. 

 

Tense stature, body language pointing away from the table, no eye contact. Anxiety was activated by something. 

 

Never one for tactful approaches, Logan said as much: “You’re activated by something, Virgil.” 

 

The Dark Side glanced up, as the table went silent. “No, I’m not,” he scoffed, looking away almost immediately. “I’m just tired.” 

 

Patton cooed almost immediately, turning to fawn over his, quote, ‘Dark Strange Son.' “Aw, Virgil, did you not sleep well last night?” 

 

Roman snorted into his pancakes, stabbing them a little more aggressively. “No judgement here, Charlie Frown. Sleep can be quite the fickle hoe. I mean he blows me off half the time, ME! And how the heck is Thomas supposed to dream when he does that?” He gesticulated wildly in frustration at his encounters with the notoriously late REM cycle. 

 

At this, Virgil perked up, side-eyeing Princey in his ridiculous silk pajamas. “You know Sleep?” 

 

Roman rolled his eyes, talking with a mouthful of food. “Of course I know Sleep, JD-Lightful.” 

 

“No, but like…” Virgil shifted uncomfortably. “Never mind.” 

 

Patton interjected: “Well, Roman, I think you should have a word with Sleep, tell him to stop making our dear little Virgil so gosh darn tired!” 

 

Roman groaned, slumping down in his seat in protest. “Why do I have to do it? Virgil’s the one who’s tired, he should talk to Sleep!” He flapped his hand tiredly towards the dark Side, failing to notice the small flinch Virgil made at the sudden movement.

 

Patton waved his finger disapprovingly at the Prince. “Now Roman, you know Virgil doesn’t like confrontation-“ 

 

Virgil glanced up, looking tensely between Patton and Roman’s faces of disagreement, Logan quietly following the interaction as well. He took in Roman’s face of frustration. He was probably just whining, but still- 

 

“It’s fine, Patton,” Virgil spoke up, ignoring the looks that the table gave him. “I don’t need Roman to do anything for me, I can take care of myself.” 

 

* * *

 

_ “I can take care of myself, asshole!” Anxiety continued to throw items of clothing in the bag as tears streamed down his face, the chambers of the Subconscious shaking with every tremble of his thin frame.  _

 

_ He wiped furiously at his face, willing his vision clear long enough for him to vacate the premises. But he couldn’t ignore the figure creeping up behind him, the familiar numbness seeping into his bones with every step closer… _

 

_ “Is that what Deceit’s been telling you, sweetheart?” The smooth whisper wrapped itself around Anxiety’s bones, slowing down his movements like molasses as the white smoke seeping through the room made him sleepy, so so very sleepy. “You know you can’t believe a word he says.”  _

 

_ Anxiety shook his head, shaking off the touch of the other Side and continuing to pack as if he wasn’t struggling for breath. “Well at least he tries to help Thomas, even if does a shit job of it. You don’t even try, you never did.”  _

 

_ Anxiety  felt an icy hand grab his chin, forcing him to turn around and stare into the face of the eyes he had once adored so much. He looked so much like Thomas, you almost couldn’t tell the difference until you looked in his eyes. Anxiety used to think that they held promise, comfort, warmth But now he saw them for what they were: grey, and lifeless. The swirling void of emptiness seeped down through the man's translucent skin to where he held Anxiety, tight like a vice grip. How could such a waif-like creature be so strong?  _

 

_ “You really think that’s what we’re here for? To help him? Why do you even try, you know you’re just going to fail. You know that all of this is pointless…”  _

 

_ Anxiety whimpered pathetically, trying not to look in his eyes, trying not to let himself fall under the man's spell again. “Let me go” he whispered.  _

 

_ “Just stay here with me, it’ll be so much easier,” the smoky figure crooned, stroking the side of Anxiety's face softly. Anxiety cursed himself for leaning into the touch. "You know we work so well together, sweetheart. Deceit can’t trick Thomas forever, he’s going to need us, Anxiety. We’re going to be all he has left when he realizes what’s wrong with him...”  _

 

_ At this, Anxiety’s eyes flared black, body tensing as the skin on his face crackling with a pulse of electricity. The other Side yanked his hand away with a hiss, cradling the singed skin as he retreated hastily. _

 

_ “No,” Anxiety sniffled angrily. “There’s nothing wrong with Thomas. I’m going to help him, you’ll see.” He slammed the suitcase shut, pushing past the seething figure on his way to the door.  _

 

_ Tears poured down his face freely, smudging his makeup beyond recognition as thunderous yells followed him out the door.  _

 

_ “You really think they’re going to accept you? You’re nothing without me, and you’re going to come crawling right back! You always do!”  _

 

_ Anxiety gripped the doorframe tightly, every fiber of his being telling him to turn back, to go where he was comfortable ,where he belonged. His whole body was on edge as his heart was torn in two pieces, but he felt as though it had been breaking slowly for ages now. He looked backwards, eyes landing on the Snake-Faced man lurking in the corner. His bloodshot eyes implored the other Dark Side desperately to help him escape this awful place, to help him just this once. Please, please… _

 

_ Deceit eyed him tentatively, face neutral as he listened to the whole interaction between the couple go down, lounging casually in his armchair as if the Subconscious wasn’t being ripped apart around him. After what felt like an eternity, the yellow-eyed man gave Anxiety a small wink, and with a subtle flick of his wrist, the anxious trait felt his mouth say the words that he himself didn't have the strength to.  _

 

_ “No, Apathy. I’m done.”  _

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone see the most recent Sanders Short about sleep?
> 
> You might want to ;P

Several days had gone by since Virgil had seen his former associate, and he was still on edge. Old feelings resurfacing, new doubts approaching... it was just the kind of thing he specialized in screwing up. He couldn't talk to Patton about any of it, that would just worry him. And Roman, well.. there was enough going on there right now. After stewing on his thoughts for as long as he could manage without going crazy, he went to talk to Logan, hoping to get some answers from the wiser side.

“So, Logan.” Virgil bit his lip, staring into his coffee. Dammit, he was so bad at starting conversations. Better get right to the point then. “What do you know about Deceit?”

Logan looked up from his toast and jam, choosing not to remark on the fact that Virgil had perched himself like a cat on the kitchen counter, once again. “Well, it’s the action or practice of misrepresenting the truth, presenting falsehoods as fact. I believe we discussed it at great length in the last video-“

“The person, Microsoft Nerd,” Virgil rolled his eyes.

“Oh, yes, that makes more sense.” Logan adjusted his glasses on his nose. “Well, I’ve had my fair share of run-ins with him in the past, but I believe most of them were prior to your arrival in the Conscious Space.”

Virgil sipped at his coffee, attempting to mask any facial expression he might be showing, not too eager to betray his emotions right now. “What do you mean by 'run-ins,’ exactly? Did you guys like, fight?”

Logan nodded. “There was no physical altercation involved, but things did get pretty heated. Patton, in particular, was very affected.”

—

_“You cannot be serious.”_

_Logan was fuming at the cloaked figure, arms crossed and chest heaving in an unusual display of emotion. Roman had positioned himself next to the scaley visitor, hand resting on the sword in his belt threateningly. And Patton, well…_

_Patton had been a mess for weeks, locked in his room and refusing to come out. It was so unlike him, Logan thought with an uncomfortable pang in his chest._

_“I am completely serious, Logic,” Deceit purred, ignoring the scowl on Roman’s face. “It’s time to face the music. You’re simply wrong this time."_

_“But all of the evidence points to the contrary,” Logan insisted, conjuring up his extensive notebooks, filled with notes and data that he had been collecting for months. “Here, look, I can prove it to you-“_

_“All of them lies, my dear Logan,” Deceit insisted, refusing to even look at the information laid in front of them. “Now, why don’t you cut this silly charade out, and stop confusing poor Thomas. I mean, look what it’s doing to the boy, to his poor little heart.” Deceit pouted mockingly._

_Logan snarled, causing even Roman to glance his way in concern, hand on his sword hilt tightening. “I am not doing this. Whatever-“ he gestured upstairs to where Patton laid in his bed -“that is, it’s a result of shifting energies from the Subconscious. You’re responsible for this, and I’m telling you right now to knock it off!”_

_Deceit’s mouth twitched, an unfamiliar glint sparkling in his yellow eye. “You think I’m the one toying with your little play pal up there? Oh, absolutely not. And that’s actually the truth this time,” he chuckled._

_Logan turned his chin up in disgust. “Highly unlikely, coming from you.”_

_Deceit rolled his repulsive snake-eyes. “Believe me or not, Logan, but I can’t actually control what happens down there, I’m just a defense mechanism. I can only try and convince you to do the smart thing and leave this be,” he hissed. “What Thomas doesn’t know can’t hurt him.”_

_“Falsehood,” Logan said coldly. “And it’s Logic, to you. But you wouldn’t know much about Logic, with your constant, tortuous tales of fiction. You’re completely wrong, you don’t know anything about what’s good for Thomas,” he seethed, stepping closer to Deceit across the common space. “As if you even care!”_

_Roman cut the bespeckled Side off with a firm arm to his chest, holding him back from starting something that the wimpy nerd surely couldn’t finish by himself. “That’s quite enough out of you. Now, why don’t you go back down to your villainous friends and go… do villainous things together, hm?” He gave a sharp look to the Dark Side, daring him to talk back._

_“Fine,” Deceit hissed, all traces of humor gone from his reptilian face. “But don’t come crying to me when all of this this blows up in all of your goody-two-shoes faces.” And with a flourish of his cloak, he was gone from the Conscious Space._

_Roman huffed in annoyance. “Man, I hate that guy… but his flair for the dramatic is rather admirable.”_

—

Virgil took in the information with a neutral expression on his face. He had known, of course, about Deceit’s actions in the Conscious Space back then. He just didn’t realize how involved Logan had been in the whole process. He couldn’t help but feel a twinge of guilt at the trouble he had helped to cause his friends, as an old voice in the back of his head began berating him…

But it was abruptly cut off by a louder, more grating voice in the adjacent room, one that Virgil was quite familiar with.

“Heyyy, sup girl!”

And Virgil had yet to decide if that was a good thing.

“Is that…?”

Logan nodded. “Sleep. Roman asked him to come over.”

Virgil gripped his mug filled with long-gone-cold coffee a little tighter, as he heard animated chatter starting up in the common room. “Oh, did he now.”

Logan frowned, noticing Virgil’s shift in tone. “Do you have… oh, what am I thinking of…” he conjured up his vocabulary cards and flipped through a couple before finding the one he was looking for. He held it up to Virgil proudly: “Beef with him?”

Virgil shook his head insistently. “No, no, he’s actually helped me out in a couple of tight spots, he’s great.” He grimaced into his sludgy coffee. “So great,” he mumbled.

Logan frowned. “The meaning of your words and the connotation of your tone appear to be incongruous. Are you being… sarcastic?”

Virgil shook his head even harder, _no no no, Logan cannot figure this out, please no_. “No, I really think he’s great.” He even attempted a smile, to make it sound more convincing.

Logan narrowed his eyes. _Crap, he wasn’t buying it._ “Well then, let us be courteous hosts and go say hello to your friend.”

 _No, please don’t make me witness this with my own two eyes, I might puke_. “Sure, sounds great,’ Virgil said.

—

The second Virgil entered the living room, his very worst fears were confirmed:

Sleep looked fabulous.

The biological imperative was wearing a form-fitting leather jacket, with a graphic tee and skinny jeans showing off his.. assets. Technically, they were all supposed to have the same body to start out with, but dammit, Sleep’s always looked better somehow. His hair was swept off to the side carelessly, and his aviators glinted in the lamplight as he sipped his iced coffee, giggling at something Roman had just said. Dammit, why hadn’t Virgil been listening to the conversation? His legs were crossed where he was sitting (way too close to Roman, wasn’t Roman claustrophobic yet?) as the creative Side told a story animatedly.

Virgil coughed, causing both of the couch’s occupants to look up and smile. “Ah, Virgil and Logan, I see you’ve decided to join us. Sleep and I were just discussing some new ideas for Thomas’s next video!”

Sleep nodded, waving a hand over at Virgil to get his attention. “Ohmygod yess, girl, Roman just came up with, like, the greatest idea ever.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow. “Wow, that must be some idea, that you just came up with in two minutes,” he commented dryly. “And I’m not a girl.”

“Well, I supposed a bit of credit has to go to this guy,” Roman clapped Sleep on the back, earning a giggle from the slender state that made Virgil’s eyes briefly flash black. “He really does do wonders to clear my mind.”

Virgil could practically hear his own teeth grinding. “Well that’s just swell.”

Logan smirked, having watched the interaction like a tennis match. He had a theory to test, now. “Say, Sleep, why don’t you tell us about some of your favorite dream sequences with Roman.”

Virgil shot Logan a glare. “I’m sure Sleep doesn’t want to talk about-“

“Ohmygod yass, those are my favorite,” Sleep drawled, patting Roman on the knee for emphasis. “Like honestly, Roman and I make such a good team, don’t you guys think? It’s like, dreams and sleep, it just makes sense, right?” He sipped on his coffee, slurping obnoxiously as he reached the ice at the bottom of the cup.

Virgil glowered, slinking further into the corner of the couch. Thomas would be fine if he murdered Sleep, right? Humans didn’t need it that badly.

Sleep gasped suddenly, turning to face the purple-clad side and slapping his arm eagerly. “Ohmygod that reminds me, Anxiety, what happened to you and that guy? You were like, so cute together. C’mon, give mama the deets.”

Virgil paled, blood running cold all of a sudden. “Um…”

Roman glanced across the room, demeanor suddenly more solemn. “What is he talking about, Virgil?”

Virgil shook his head. He couldn’t get into this now, not here. Not with his friends. “We um… we didn’t work out, that’s all.”

The effeminate function pouted. “Awww, babes. Well, I always thought he was kindof a dick anyway, like honestly, you’re better off. I mean he was just so… ‘bleh,’ like aallll the time, you know?” He slurped at his coffee noisily once more. “But like, if you get back together or whatever, let me know, I like to be in the loop, hashtag gossip girl.”

Virgil nodded, just silently willing the conversation to be over.

“Okay great, hon. Now anyways, where were we Ro-Ro?” Sleep fluttered his stupidly perfect eyelashes, despite the Prince character being a little too distracted by the newly revealed information to notice.

That was it, Virgil couldn’t watch anymore of this. He jolted up off the couch, startling a pensive Logan who had been sitting right next to him. “Um, I’m just gonna, head up to my room you guys. Got a lot of work to do.”

“Wait-“  
“Virgil-“

But Virgil had already sunk out, landing on his mattress with a flop. He covered his face with both hands and groaned loudly. He didn’t know what was worse. The fact that he had to think about his ex yet again…

Or the fact that he was jealous.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's been going on in Roman's head this whole time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy guys... 
> 
> sorry im an inconsistent piece of garbage. But here we go, new chapter!

 

While Roman usually liked to spend his daylight hours training outside, that particular afternoon found Roman grumbling into his bedspread, cathartically listening to the Moana soundtrack on repeat. He prayed to Zeus that he wouldn’t have to entertain visitors again anytime soon, as he was currently in a state completely unbecoming of royalty such as himself. He was, to phrase it like a commoner, “being a little bitch.” 

 

Roman whined into his mountain of fluffy golden pillows, the rainbow beams reflecting off of the enchanted silk doing nothing to brighten his mood at all. But could he really be blamed for his moodiness at the moment? His idea this morning had blown up in his face spectacularly, and few things had the power to bruise his ego quite like a bad idea. For heaven’s sake, coming up with ideas was his whole purpose around here, anyways! 

 

Roman turned himself over to face the ceiling with a huff. The whole reason he had wanted to invite Sleep over this morning was to cheer up Virgil, but clearly that didn’t work. Roman knew he must have said something (Lord knows what) to upset the gloomy Side in order to warrant getting kicked out of his room so suddenly the other day. Virgil hadn’t been nearly as temperamental as he used to be ever since he became their friend, so Roman knew he must’ve been kicked out for some reason. 

The thing was… he didn’t know what that reason was. The Prince was always flawlessly charming, suave, respectable… and of course, humble. He was a perfect gentleman, especially to Vir-his fellow Sides. So what could he have done? 

 

Regardless, it wasn’t in the Prince’s nature to focus on words, and mistakes, and who-said-what. That was for boring nerds, like Logan and Patton. But Roman ? He was a man of action! Whatever he had done to upset Virgil, he would simply make it right by making him happy again, whatever it took! 

 

Therefore, Roman was hard-pressed to hide his delight upon hearing that Virgil was well acquainted with his associate, Sleep. It seemed as though the chips couldn’t have fallen more perfectly than where they lay. Sleep owed Roman quite a few favors after all the times he had stood him up from brainstorming sessions, so it wasn’t hard to convince him to come for a visit. What better way to cheer up the Dark Knight over there than with a visit from an old friend? One that was significantly more harmless than Deceit, that is. 

 

Needless to say, Roman was confused and dismayed when Virgil fled from the room after barely two minutes with the effeminate function. Sleep had seemed so fond of Virgil, he could only assume that they had been friends. Roman would’ve stopped Virgil from fleeing the scene so soon, except, well… he had been distracted by something that Sleep said. Something that definitely wasn’t currently contributing to his not-so-glittery mood….

 

Why hadn’t Virgil ever mentioned a boyfriend? 

 

Obviously, he knew Virgil was gay. They were all parts of Thomas, and well, there really wasn’t any part of Thomas that wasn’t gay. But a relationship? That part was shocking. Surely Virgil would’ve mentioned something in passing, wouldn’t he? 

 

Roman shook his head, trying to physically clear his mind from the distracting thoughts. Virgil probably had a perfectly good reason for not mentioning the guy that he was definitely still in love with- 

 

“No, nononono,” Roman said to himself aloud in his (obviously enchanted) bathroom mirror, catching himself spiraling down a treacherous path once more. “You don’t need to be thinking those sorts of things right now.” He slapped himself lightly to snap out of it, earning an offended look from his reflection in the mirror. “Oh, stop whining,” he muttered, walking away as his reflection mumbled curses at him. 

 

Humming a tune he couldn’t quite place under his breath, Roman tried to focus back in on the issue at hand: making Virgil happy again. He didn’t quite know when his favorite ideas to think of had become the Dark Side’s nicknames, or when their constant bickering, while still fueled by conflicting passions, had taken on a subtle glint of playfulness. He didn’t have to say aloud that Virgil was his friend, he knew it in his heart. And he knew that that was why he had to make things right between them, he had to see that rare but precious smile grace those ever-grimacing lips… because they were friends. 

 

“Yes, friends…” Roman mumbled, the words souring the moment they fell off his tongue. He sighed, falling back into the tune in his head. He had found lying to himself ever more difficult since Deceit’s most recent banishment from the premises. 

 

Because he knew, was the thing. Some small, reluctant part of him knew the truth. He knew it every time he felt burning jealousy towards Patton, the sweetest, most innocent little puffball in the universe, for being able to make Virgil laugh. He knew it in the way his heart ached when the other Sides seemed to get on so much better with Virgil than he did, to understand the way that his mysterious mind worked so much better than he did. And he definitely knew it in the way his heart shattered whenever he caught Virgil looking at him out of the corner of his eyes, like he still didn’t trust him not to cast him away. 

 

What a cruel twist of fate, that out of everyone, it had to be the one that Roman had hurt time and time again. 

 

Roman collapsed back onto his bed in a heap, feeling ironically like Virgil as he sank further into his own self-loathing. But hey, at least he had finally placed what that song in his head was. 

 

_ “If there’s a prize for rotten judgement…”  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is the link, if you want to hear Princey's beautiful pining in action... 
> 
> https://youtu.be/BenMCnRX0WU
> 
> Be sure to tell me what you think of the chapter! <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Father-son banter, followed by another glimpse into Virgil's past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS: Verbal abuse, implied violence, implied self-harm

_ Knock, knock.  _

 

“Oh, Virgil! I’m respecting your privacy by knocking, but asserting my authority as your parent by coming in anyway!” 

 

Virgil rolled his eyes at his laptop as Patton burst through the door into the dimly lit room. “I’m starting to worry that you don’t actually realize that I’m not your son.” 

 

“Now don’t you go saying silly things like that, Virgil,” Patton warned with a cheeky grin as he started picking up random items of clothing from the hazy smoke of Virgil’s floor. “You know you love us.” 

 

The corner of Virgil’s mouth twitched, as he momentarily stopped scrolling through his tumblr while still looking steadfastly at the screen. “Anyways Pat, what’s your boyfriend up to?” 

 

Preoccupied with folding the messy Side's laundry, Patton replied: “Oh, Logan’s still planning out Thomas’s weekend, that boy sure has a lot on his plate lately. So yeah, he’s really stressed out about-“ Patton stopped talking when he noticed Virgil’s smirk. “What’s up buddy, what’s making you laugh over-“ he then flushed in realization of what he had just said. 

 

 “Oh, wait, no, I didn’t-“ 

 

Virgil started snickering as Patton stammered. “That’s not what I...he isn’t...you tricked me!” He broke off whining. 

 

“Sorry,” Virgil attempted to squash his amusement enough to sober his face. “I shouldn’t have teased you like that, I know it’s a sensitive subject.” 

 

Patton sighed. “Well, thank you for saying that.” He resumed his seemingly random straightening-up of his fellow Side's room, which was not made any easier by the dim lightening and ever-multiplying spider webs.

 

Virgil watched his friend flitting across the room. “While you’re here, I do have a serious question though.” 

 

Patton brightened. “Oh well of course! You can ask me anything, kiddo.” 

 

The straight expression melted off of Virgil’s face. “Is Logan gonna be my new Dad?” 

 

Patton started swatting Virgil with a pillow as the smaller side burst out cackling, attempting to shield himself from the blushing father figure by hiding in his bedspread. “Virgil,” he whined, giving up on his half-hearted assault. “Why do you have to say these things?” 

 

 

—

 

_ “Darling, why do you always say such hurtful things to me?”  _

 

_ Anxiety avoided eye contact with the man as he sat quietly on their bed, feeling guilt start to seep through his veins. He knew he should’ve kept his mouth shut.  _

 

_ “Is that what you want to do, hurt my feelings?” The hurt voice above his started to steel in frustration. "Don’t you love me anymore?”  _

 

_ Anxiety panicked, jerking his face up to meet the gaze of the shadowy figure before him. “Of course I do, I love you so much,” he stood up, rushing to get the words out as he pleaded for understanding that he might not be lucky enough to get today. “I’m so, so sorry, please don’t be mad at me.”  _

 

_ Apathy’s eyes remained as stony and unreadable as ever. But he smiled, empty as always, and placed a soothing hand on each of Anxiety’s forearm. The smaller Dark Side felt the familiar, chilling numbness start seeping through his hoodie into his skin, making his hidden scars tingle uncomfortably.  _

 

_ “It’s okay, little one,” he placated, eyes roaming up, down, and over every visible inch of Anxiety as his hands wrapped firmly around pale, slender wrists. Anxiety tried to fight the tremors of discomfort from shaking his body too much, as he knew his partner didn’t like it when he did that. He was his boyfriend, the least he could do was let himself be touched. _

 

_ Apathy continued: “I know you say foolish things like this sometimes, but I forgive you, don’t I sweetie?” He gave Anxiety’s cheek a pat, ignoring way the other Side flinched. "I know that you can’t help being so stupid.” _

 

_ Anxiety looked down with flushed cheeks as he nodded his head in agreement. “Thank you, baby,” he murmured. He was right, of course. And yet. And yet, and yet, and yet…  _

 

_ “So is that the end of this little issue, then? You aren’t going to bring up something so foolish ever again?”  _

 

_ Anxiety bit his lip, staring at the cold smile before him. He should shut his mouth, he really should. He’s just going to upset his boyfriend again, but dammit, something didn’t feel right here.  _

 

_ “I just think that it might not be such a bad thing if Thomas was gay,” he blurted out. He closed his eyes immediately. Fuck, he’d really done it now.  _

 

_** “What did you just say to me?”  ** _

 

_ He felt the hands on his wrists tighten into a vice grip, and he attempted to quell the panic welling up inside him as he itched to back away. Maybe he could fix this, maybe he could make this better.  _

 

_ “It’ll be scary, but I don’t think it’ll be all bad. I mean, Logic said- “  _

 

_ “Logic? Is that was this is about?” Apathy sneered, pulling the shaking Side closer to him. “You’re listening to Logic over me?”  _

 

_ Anxiety shook his head frantically. “No, never, I just think that he made some good points about-“  _

 

_ “Do you hate me so much that you would betray me for one of those simpering Pansies upstairs?” The already frosty room dropped another ten degrees as Anxiety watched the empty void in his partner’s eyes grow more turbulent, the grip on his wrists starting to bruise.  _

_ “Or maybe you just want him to fuck you, is that it?”  _

 

_ Tears fell over the brim of Anxiety’s eyes, streaking his cheeks as he continued to shake his head no. “No, no I-“ _

 

_ “I’m not enough for you, am I? You want to be his little whore?”  _

 

_ Anxiety started sobbing desperately. “I would never, I love you, I love you so much. “  _

 

_ “You’re disgusting,” Apathy spat. “You want to know how I know Thomas can’t be gay?”  _

 

_ Anxiety nodded, resolve all but shattered as he tried to quiet his whimpers.  _

 

_** “Because how could I ever love someone like you?”  ** _

 

 

—

 

“Kiddo?” 

 

Virgil glanced up at Patton. “Huh?” 

 

“I think you spaced out there for a minute kiddo. Are you okay?” The older Side looked down at him with concern. “You’re looking kinda pale there.” 

 

“Um-“

 

“Well, more pale than beverage.” 

 

“Average.” 

 

“Hah, no I’m not.” 

 

“I’m fine, Patton.” Virgil rubbed his eyes wearily. “I think I might just need another cup of coffee.” 

 

Patton tisked. “Now kiddo, you know too much of that stuff will give you trouble sleeping.” But that didn’t stop him from walking down with the purple-clad side to brew a fresh pot. 

 

Only to find a certain snake-faced man sitting in the kitchen, being glared at by an indignant Roman. 

 

Deceit looked up as Virgil froze in the doorway, before grinning sinisterly.  “Ah, just the man I wanted to see.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments are appreciated :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Sides have a heated confrontation with Deceit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: physical violence, degrading language

Deceit lounged comfortably in Patton’s usual seat, feet propped up on the dinner table in a manner that would most certainly give Logan an aneurism if he were in the room. He drummed his gloved fingers softly on the table top as he stared Virgil down expectantly, meeting the tense Side’s murderous glare with a bored expression. Virgil cursed himself silently, knowing that however much he fumed and glowered, he couldn’t intimidate the man before him like he could most people. How could he, when Deceit had seen him at his weakest, his most pathetic moments? Virgil felt a cold chill trickling into his bloodstream as he thought of what Deceit could tell his friends about him. Things that would surely make him an outcast again, show them his true colors and ruin all of the progress he had made with them over the last year...

 

“I’m waiting, child.” 

 

Virgil was snapped out of his thoughts by Deceit’s purr, realizing that he hadn’t said anything since entering the room. Fuck. He opened his mouth to give a snarky, defensive retort, but drew a horrific blank on what to say. Uh oh. He had become too distracted by the panic rising in his chest to think. He felt as if his muscles physically couldn’t tense anymore without snapping his spine like a twig, which was only worsened by the fact that he knew every passing moment of silence was making him look even more stupid and pathetic. Roman and Patton would surely start to question what was going on, soon they would know, they would all know...

 

Fortunately, Virgil was saved from the world’s longest 5 seconds by an indignant scoff, which he had honestly never been happier to hear in his life. “And just what makes you think you can talk to him like that, Fibber on the Roof? This is OUR house, and that is PATTON’S seat!” 

Roman’s sword belt jingled as he finished his angry gesticulating with a stomp of his foot, looking ever the part of an angry teenage girl despite his broad stature. 

It totally wasn’t endearing at all. 

Virgil peered up at Roman gratefully through his bangs while Deceit was putting his feet down with a scowl, hoping that his silent ‘thank you’ would be understood by the Prince. While he attempted to regain control of his breathing, Roman continued glaring at the intruder with a thoroughly unamused expression. Hm. Perhaps Roman hadn't even noticed his discomfort. He felt an unfortunate twinge of disappointment as he realized Roman was probably just offended on behalf of Patton getting disrespected, and that saving face for him was just a lucky coincidence. 

Then, Roman turned his head slightly to meet Virgil’s gaze, keeping his expression neutral while throwing Virgil a subtle wink. 

Virgil flushed. Oh. Maybe he did notice. 

 

“Oh Roman, I’m so very glad to see you again.” Deceit rolled his eyes, before turning his gaze to an uncomfortably looking Patton. “Oh, is this your spot? I hadn’t noticed.” 

 

Patton chuckled nervously as his shifted his weight back and forth between his feet. “Yep, it sure is. Umm, so, if it’s not too much trouble Deceit, could you maybe, tell us why you’re here?” Virgil didn’t know how Patton managed to be so polite to the snake, but it was impressive. 

 

Deceit raised an eyebrow, his yellow eye blinking vertically on it’s own, causing Patton to take a small step backwards. “I believe I already said I wished to have a word with your little pet project over there, dear Patton. Preferably alone.” Virgil glanced at the floor, playing with the strings of his hoodie tensely as his cheeks burned. 

 

Roman snorted, crossing his arms. “Not happening, Scaley Gonzales.” 

 

Another slow, sideways blink. “Excuse me?” 

 

“Anything you have to say to say to Virgil, you can say in front of us,” Roman said firmly, placing his hands on his hips as he stared Deceit down.

 

To his surprise, Deceit didn’t look concerned at all. “Very well,”  he said, turning his gaze to the Side who was still attempting to shrink down into his hoodie. “Virgil, darling, I’ve been sent to give you a message.” 

 

Virgil starting hearing faint buzzing in his ears as the world seemed to stop turning for a moment. No, please no. He had been done with this, he had left that behind. “From who?” Virgil’s voice was shaking and practically inaudible. 

 

Deceit grinned. Bastard. “You know who.”

 

Everyone startled as Patton let out a shriek. “You-know-who?!” He whispered into his hands. 

 

Virgil sighed, rubbing his temples with his hands. “Not- he doesn’t mean Voldemort, Patton.”

 

“DON’T SAY HIS NAME!” 

 

Deceit winced, covering his ears. “Dear God, you put up with that all of the time?” 

 

“What do you want, man?” Virgil hissed at the cloaked figure. He needed to get him out of here. “I thought we were done with this.” 

 

Deceit rolled his eyes once more. “It isn’t about what I want, Virgil, it’s about what HE wants.” 

 

Roman looked back and forth between Virgil and Deceit like he was watching a tennis match. “He? Virgil who is ‘he’?” Roman demanded. Virgil’s heart sank when he saw the expression on his face: Princey looked angry. Virgil needed to shut this down now, before Roman learned too much and kicked him out along with Deceit. He crossed his arms across his chest and faced Deceit with what he hoped was a shred of confidence.

 

“I don’t care what he wants, okay? We aren’t together, anymore, I’m not-” _his_ , Virgil stopped himself from saying. It sounded wrong, his friends wouldn’t understand. 

 

Roman looked even more agitated by Virgil’s words, which made Virgil hunch into himself even further. “Virgil, who are you talking about? Is this about your… your ex-lover?” he hissed, but Virgil couldn’t meet his eyes out of shame. Great, now Princey knew just how badly he had screwed up his only shot at love. About how astronomically terrible Virgil was at the one thing that the royal cared about most in this world. 

 

He was yanked out of his personal pity party by a sentence he never imagined he would hear. 

“Well that’s a shame, seeing as he sent me to bring you back.” 

 

* * *

 

In hindsight, Roman really wished that he could say he was the one to catch Virgil when he fainted. That he had swooped in to save the _damoiseau_ in distress like a Prince was supposed to, and have it turn out to be a perfect fairy tale moment. Alas, Patton was closer, and had run to Virgil with a squeak while Roman had frozen like a deer in headlights. 

 

Because, what? Virgil’s former flame wanted to reignite their passion of yesteryear? Oh, but this was terrible! Roman hadn’t even begun to woo Virgil yet, and how was he supposed to compete with this mystery man when those two had history? 

 

Roman was caught up in fretting to himself while Patton tended to the woozy Side on the floor, trying to gently rouse Virgil from unconsciousness. And that, that wasn’t too encouraging either. Whoever this man was, Virgil had been so overcome with emotion at the thought of their reunion that he had swooned. What did this mean? Did Roman have any chance at all, or did Virgil’s heart belong completely to some… some Dark Side? 

 

He was snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of Patton’s trembling voice, and wait, why was Patton crying? 

 

“Now you listen to me, Deceit. I don’t give a gosh darn if you lot want him back, Virgil is not leaving this house with you!” Patton’s lower lip trembled as he kneeled on the floor, patting at Virgil’s sweaty face with a damp cloth. “Roman? Back me up here?” 

 

Roman felt himself flush with shame at his foolish oversight. Of course, that was the priority! Romantic ventures aside, Virgil was first and foremost their friend, and he wouldn’t be swept back to the Subconscious on the whim of some faceless man. 

 

“Yeah, what Patton said,” Roman narrowed his eyes at Deceit, who stood there looking the perfect part of a channel for Roman’s frustrations. “Virgil is family now, and he’s not going anywhere.” 

 

Deceit chuckled. “Oh please, why do you want the little creep so bad anyways? I only let him go in the first place because I got tired of all that dreadful noise coming from the Boss’s room.” Another roll of his disgusting snake eyes. 

 

Roman started seeing red. That wasn't good. He was already getting ticked off, and he really didn’t need to start thinking about Virgil and what kind of…noises he may have been making with another man. “Keep talking like that about him and I swear you’re going to get your face ripped off,” he seethed. 

 

Deceit raised his eyebrows. “Feisty,” he commented dryly, before muttering under his breath: "It would appear that the slut has a type-“ 

 

**SMACK.**  

 

Patton gasped as Deceit stumbled back into the counter, touching the scaled half of his face and wincing when he felt a drip of blood. Roman stood seething over the man, hand red and scraped from where the reptilian skin of the intruder had torn the side of his fist. 

 

“Get out,” Roman said in a terrifyingly quiet voice. Deceit didn’t move, eyes narrowing in appraisal of the Prince. “ _NOW!_ ” Deceit startled, jumping back from where Roman had advanced another step across the kitchen. 

 

“This isn’t over,” the man hissed, before sinking out into the shadows. 

 

Roman breathed heavily, chest heaving as he shook out his fist, regretting his snap decision as he started feeling the pain from it. “Sorry you had to bear witness to such brutish behavior, Patton,” he muttered, turning back to his friend on the floor. “I simply couldn’t let him get away with saying those horrid lies about-“ 

 

Roman stopped when he eyes fell upon the very conscious Virgil that was looking at his bleeding hand, the emotion on his face concerning, yet thoroughly unmistakable. 

 

_Terror._  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A LOT going on in this chapter. Tell me what you think!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil gets stuck in the past, the Sides try to pull him out of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: light depiction of domestic violence, graphic depiction of PTSD / panic attack.

Virgil was dragged from unconsciousness by the unmistakable sound of flesh hitting flesh. His eyes shot open on reflex, only to be immediately blinded by the lights in the room, his head pounding from where he had knocked it against the floor. 

 

_ Anxiety's head ached. He spat out a mouthful of blood.  _

 

He was resting against a warm body. People in the room were shouting. “This isn’t over.”

 

_ “You think this is over?” He dragged himself up onto his knees shakily, eyes swimming as he tried to focus on the blurry figure before him. _

 

A tall figure stood in the kitchen, shadowed under the overhead lighting. He shook his hand out with a wince. 

 

_ Apathy shook his hand out. _

 

“Virgil, are you alright?” 

 

_ “Start begging.”  _

 

Blood was dripping from his hand, reaching towards his face.

 

_ “Please, I’m sorry.” _

 

“Virgil, can you hear me?” 

 

_ “I can’t hear you...” _

 

“Please, don’t hurt me, I’m sorry, please stop it, please, please stop it, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!” 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Roman paid no mind to the pain in his hand when he saw the distress in his beloved's eyes. He immediately fell to the floor on his knees and nudged Patton’s gentle hands aside, looking to still the frantic heaving of Virgil’s chest with a comforting touch. 

 

“Virgil, are you alright?” He implored. He reached out his hand, only to feel his heart sink when Virgil batted it away frantically, leaning away from Roman’s touch. 

He did not allow himself to wallow in the bitterness of rejection for more than a moment, however, for something wasn’t quite right. Roman glanced up at Patton, who seemed equally frightened at the state of the shaking Side in his arms. They had never seen Virgil quite so panicked as this. The way his eyes flitted around the kitchen space as he jerked away from even Patton’s comforting warmth was almost feral. He looked like a stray cat that had been cornered with no escape. 

Residual adrenaline rushing through his blood, Roman leaned into Virgil’s space once more, needing to search those deep, brown eyes of his for some semblance of familiarity, some hint of recognition. 

“Virgil, can you hear me?” 

 

Virgil instantly snapped his gaze over to meet Roman’s, and for a moment, he felt relief. Virgil stared into his eyes with unparalleled intensity, his dry lips parting a moment later to speak. His voice was so soft, so fragile and cracked and so unlike his usual murmurs, that Roman almost didn’t hear it, almost didn’t recognize that the words had even fallen from his would-be-paramour’s lips. Later, he would pray to the gods that he hadn’t, as there would be no greater fuel for his nightmares for years to come than what he heard next:

 

“Please, don’t hurt me.” 

 

Patton inhaled sharply. Roman blanched. He didn’t understand. That didn’t make sense. Those words, from Virgil’s mouth, directed at him, they weren’t adding up. “What?” he said softly, waiting for Virgil to smirk and tell them that it was all a devious, heart-wrenching prank, and that he was fine. 

 

Alas, that fate was not meant to be, as it appeared to be that very moment that something in Virgil snapped. He scrambled up and out of Patton’s arms, the older Side falling backwards with a yelp as Virgil pressed himself back against the kitchen wall, shrinking away and making himself small as could be. He continued staring at Roman with something missing in his eyes,  as his face was morphed into pure terror.

 

“Please, don’t hurt me! I’m sorry, please stop it, please, please stop it, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!” He gasped out between heaving breaths that looked to be painful to his lungs. 

 

Roman’s mind finally began to catch up with the aching pain in his heart, and he backed away from Virgil frantically until he was stopped by the kitchen counter, looking over to Patton for hope of finding answers. But the father figure stood silent in the doorway, tears rolling down his face in empathy of the pain on Virgil’s face. 

 

Roman panicked. He didn’t know what was happening. 

He didn’t know what to do.

 He didn’t know how to fix this. 

 

The silent prayer in his heart was answered by the man that rose up in the living room. 

 

“Sorry I’m late, boys, Thomas was keeping me longer than originally planned what with-“ 

 

** “LOGAN GET IN HERE!”  **

 

Logan cursed and ran into the kitchen scrambling at the sound of Patton’s desperate shriek. His calculating gaze fell first upon a scared Patton,

then upon a conflicted Roman, 

and then on-

 

“Anxiety,” Logan stated calmly, appearing externally unshaken by the state of events in his normally tidy kitchen. 

 

Roman opened his mouth to protest the outdated formality, quickly shutting it when he noticed the black tendrils of crackling energy seeping out from where Virgil’s feet touched the floor. A quick look up at the state of Virgil’s irises showed that they were had turned from warm brown to midnight black. It looked so jarring, so wrong against his purple hair and clothing.

 

Logan was right. How had Roman not seen it? Stupid. 

 

“Do you know where you are, Anxiety?” Logan spoke clearly but firmly, not moving any closer to Virgil. Another foolish mistake, Roman. 

 

Virgil looked around the room, still trembling. He spoke tentatively in the deep vibratto they had heard several times before.

**_ “Sub…subconscious.”  _ **

 

Patton let out a sad whimper, and Roman’s heart broke a little further. 

 Logan merely blinked, before continuing. 

 

“Anxiety, you’re in the Conscious space. You’re safe.” 

 

Virgil looked about the room, still breathing heavily, but appearing to grasp Logan’s words, Roman thought hopefully as he bit at his fingernails. 

 

_** “C-Conscious?" ** _

 

“Yes, very good,” Logan affirmed calmly. The energy pooling at Virgil’s feet thinned into a faint whisp. While Virgil was distracted, Logan took a small step closer to him. “Do you know who we are?” 

 

Virgil’s eyes snapped up to Logan. Roman felt a twinge of annoyance at how unfazed by the situation Logan appeared to be. Roman had never felt so lost, so helpless, so… useless.

 

 He was quickly torn from his micro-pity party by an encouraging noise. “ _Lo-logan?_ ” 

 

Logan’s expression didn’t waver. “Yes.” 

 

Virgil’s gaze moved across the room to the shaky Side in the doorway. “ _Pat?_ ” 

 

Patton beamed, gushing in a large exhale of teary relief. “That’s me, kiddo,” he sniffled. 

 

And then, the moment of truth. Roman watched in dreadful anticipation as Virgil’s gaze shifted to him. The small figure’s shaking had subsided, but his eyes were still black, like staring into an endless void of fear and unknown horrors. He eyed Roman suspiciously, looking him up and down with the same dread that had set him off in the first place.

Roman felt his last hope fall to the ground, and he looked to the ground to spare Virgil any further terror upon seeing his face. He coughed, placing his last shred of dignity into composing his voice as he turned to face Logan. 

 

“Perhaps I should step out while he-“

 

“Roman?” 

 

Roman glanced upwards just in time to see a purple blur flitting across the kitchen towards him. Before he could even think to brace himself against some panic-induced attack, Virgil’s arms were flung around his neck haphazardly, and the smaller Side was crying into Roman’s shoulder. Bewildered, but feeling the weight in chest begin to release, Roman looked around the room for confirmation. 

Logan let out a deep exhale, nodding as the tension of the last minute finally began showing on his face. Roman made a note to praise the man’s acting abilities later. Patton wiped his eyes dry on his sweatshirt before pulling Logan aside with a whisper, undoubtedly filling the man in on vital information he had missed. 

Roman looked down at the Side that was finally shaking with gentler tremors, mumbling more familiar “sorry”s into Roman’s chest as exhausted tears rolled down his face. Roman sighed in long-awaited relief, before pulling Virgil closer and rubbing soothing circles into his back, reassuring him that it was alright, all was forgiven. 

 

But Roman’s exhale was stilted, as the sudden calm after the storm finally allowed a nagging feeling of dread to fill his heart. There was something sinister at work here, and he was going to uncover it. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woof, I feel drained just from writing this. 
> 
> Let me know what you think of this, don't hold back.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil and Roman try to talk.  
> They aren't very good at it.

_ It’s okay, you’re safe here. _

 

Virgil startled awake, scrambling himself into a sitting position as he choked on air. By the time he caught his breath, his eyes had adjusted to the familiar darkness: he was back in his room. Everything around him was quiet. _Breathe, Virgil, breathe_. 

 

He let out a heavy exhale, now back in control of his breath after the momentary panic. He took in the sensations of his surroundings as objectively as he could in order to get his bearings. 

 

It was the middle of the night.

He was tucked into his bed.

He was fully clothed. 

How the hell had he- oh _shit._

 

He groaned and allowed gravity to flop him back down onto the mattress as he covered his face with his hands, remembering how he had been carried upstairs crying after he had made an absolute fool out of himself. In front of all of his friends, no less. Jesus, all it had taken was one visit from Deceit to send him spiraling down memory lane, hadn’t it? _Pathetic._

 

Feeling his skin start to itch, Virgil sat up, in order to knock his head against the headboard rhythmically. “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” he muttered, feeling the bruise from earlier smart with pain as he tried to distract himself from the swelling, uncomfortable embarrassment in his stomach. All of the memories from earlier were floating through his mind in fuzzy, segmented fragments, but he remembered blacking out in the kitchen, in front of Patton, and Roman… 

 

Oh God. Virgil shut his eyes, shaking his head vigorously as he tried to shut out the memory of what he had done upon waking up. Flinging himself at Princey like a freaking _girl_ , making himself look even more like desperate, helpless freakshow. God, what Princey must be thinking of him now. 

 

He sighed bitterly, opening his eyes to the darkness of his room reluctantly. He knew he couldn’t have helped it, though. He wasn’t himself, and all he could think of when he saw Roman was 

_warm,_

_ safe. _

 

Christ, how embarrassing. He was amazed that the Light Side hadn’t pushed him away in disgust. Probably too _noble_  or some shit like that. 

 

Virgil _really_  didn’t want to have to face Princey after that revealing little display. Didn’t know how he was going to be able to look at him with the same cool detachment after having felt the addicting warmth and comfort of being held in his strong grasp. Virgil knew without a doubt that Roman had only hugged him out of pity after his little panic-episode. He couldn’t begin to imagine what it would be like to be there, as the object of the romantic Side’s affections…

 

“Shut _up_ ,” Virgil growled at himself. This train of thought was going nowhere productive. He had learned he wasn’t cut out for love a long time ago, and he wasn’t doing himself any favors by pining over the Side that l _iterally_  specialized in romantic gestures for a living. Especially not now that he had exposed his feelings in front of everyone like that, in one stupid moment of weakness. If Roman wasn’t disgusted by him by now, then he was dumber than Virgil gave him credit for. 

 

Virgil closed his eyes as he rested his head back onto his pillow. His eyes were sore from crying earlier, and avoiding his feelings right now by sinking into unconsciousness sounded really good. Unfortunately, his eyes shot open two minutes later. Seriously? Why did he have to be thirsty right now? Someone upstairs must be laughing at him. 

 

Grumbling and cursing like a sailor under his breath, Virgil threw his weighted covers aside and dragged his ass out of bed, stumbling blearily across the room and bracing himself for the overbearing light of the hallway as he pulled his door open. 

Only to jump back in fright as a curled-up figure fell through the doorway right at his feet, hitting the ground with a stream of sleepy, just-stirred-from-cosnsciousness cursing.

 

Virgil squinted into the light, looking down at the disheveled Side that was currently stumbling his way up to standing. Wait, was that-

 

“Oh, Virgil! You’re awake!” Roman smoothed down the sides of his crinkled tunic as he attempted to compose himself. “I was just um, closing my eyes for a moment, but it seems that I must’ve dosed off.”

Virgil blinked, very confused and voice still laden with the remnants of sleep. “What are you doing out here?”

 

Roman paused, frowning as if that ought to be obvious. “Well, I was just making sure you were alright, of course.” 

Virgil stared at him, not exactly sure what he meant. Why would Princey care about 'making sure he was alright', and why would that involve sleeping right outside his door? He scanned Roman up and down briefly, eyes widening upon seeing what was in the other Side’s hand. “Why is your sword out?” Virgil hissed, backing away frantically. 

 

Roman looked down at his hand and cursed once more, having apparently forgotten that he was holding it. “Oh good lord, I am so sorry,” he breathed, as he shoved the darned thing back into its sheathe. “I had to be prepared, but then I went and fell asleep on my watch, like a fool.“ 

 

“Yeah I get that, but why?” Virgil rubbed at his eyes tiredly. He was too exhausted and irritated to entertain Princey right now. “What the fuck did you think you needed your sword for? Like, are you here to fight me, or…?“ 

 

“No! No no no, you’ve got it all wrong, Violent Beauregard!” Roman waved his hands in front of him frantically, wincing after Virgil rolled his eyes unamusedly at the nickname. “Sorry, sorry, it’s really just a reflex at this point. But truthfully, I have been standing guard outside your door, to ensure that no further threats came to disrupt your slumber.” He stared into Virgil’s eyes earnestly, making the Dark Side shift under the intensity of his gaze. 

 

Virgil’s stomach churned. He should have expected some sort of teasing after the kitchen incident, but he just wasn’t ready for it so soon. He didn’t have the mental or emotional energy in him to put on his usual dark front to fend off Roman’s insults, so he was honestly not equipped to handle this after having shown him one of the worst parts of him. He seriously didn’t need to start breaking down in front of Roman, again. The Prince already probably wasn’t going to let Virgil live this down as it was. 

 

He let out a shaky breath, refusing to meet Roman’s eyes as he spoke. “Listen, I’m really sorry about earlier, but can you please just not-“ fuck, his voice cracked. _Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic._  “-not do this right now,” he finished shakily. Shit, shit, shit, he could feel the tears of embarrassment burning beneath his eyelids, right on the verge of spilling over. Time to accept his inevitable death, and go hide under the covers until the sun goes away. 

 

“Hey, hey, Virgil,” Roman’s voice was uncharacteristically soft, and just a bit sad. Virgil shivered as he felt Roman brush his hand gently underneath his chin, nudging his face up to look him in his sparkling brown eyes. “I’m being serious, on my honor as a Prince. I wanted to keep you safe from Deceit’s devious trickery. You gave me quite a fright in there, earlier.” 

 

Virgil sniffed, trying not to let his cheeks warm under Roman’s intense gaze. When did Roman start standing so close to him? He broke the eye contact in a bit of a panic, but selfishly didn’t move away, body craving the comfort of being near the other Side still.

“You mean it?” He said quietly, as he stared at Roman’s shoulder straps. Maybe he could, in his weakened state, possibly entertain the thought that Roman didn’t completely hate him after his earlier display. Still, it was too soon to put his guard down, “Because if you’re messing with me, I’m really not in the mood."

To his surprise, Roman sighed, shoulders slumping as his eyes filled with an unfamiliar sadness once more. 

 

“Virgil, I… oh, darn it all to Hell,” Roman sighed. “I’ve messed this up, haven’t I?” Virgil watched him curiously, only to feel himself panic and sweat when Roman suddenly reached out and surrounded Virgil’s hands in both of his. What on Earth was he doing? Virgil resisted the urge to back away, even as he noticed the gentle warmth of Roman’s grasp around his own, cold hands. It was polite, and proper, not something he was used to at all. It scared him to know that he probably could slip away whenever he wanted to.

 

But then, he found that he didn’t really want to at all.

 

“Virgil,” Roman started hesitantly, pausing to think through his words. “I realize that I have been unwelcoming and…and cruel to you, in the past. And for that, I am so, so sorry.” He shook his head, looking bitter as he reminisced momentarily.

Roman soldiered on, Virgil raising his eyebrows in astonishment as the Prince’s eyes began to glistening slightly as he spoke. “I have not been half as kind to you as you deserve, Virgil. I’ve been rude, and boorish, and I’ve.. I’ve hurt you.”  Roman ended in a whisper, shaking his own head in disappointment at himself. 

Virgil began to panic. He had never seen Roman like this. “Roman, I-it’s fine, really,” he muttered nervously. 

 

“No,” Roman cut him off firmly. “It’s not fine. You deserve much better than that, Virgil. You’ve got every right to be upset with me, to never want to see me ever again. So just say the word, and I will leave you be.” 

 

Virgil tried to process his words, but was far too hyperaware of the sweatiness of his fingers within Roman’s grasp, which tied him so close to the other Side that he felt like he could feel the weight of his breath in his own chest, biting out the humble words like they were physically painful to say. Virgil could feel the earnestness, the unfiltered emotions running through Roman’s blood, the fiery intensity on which the character ran daily directed entirely at him. It was too much, and not enough, all at the same time. 

 

Virgil desperately wished he could hide under his mussed up bangs right about now, as he felt far too vulnerable and on display being stared at by Roman, out here in the middle of the hallway at 2:00 AM. But Roman was out here bearing his soul for him, for whatever reason, which couldn’t be easy for the prideful Side to do. 

 

“But I’m not upset with you,” Virgil mumbled, cheeks beginning to redden as he resisted the overwhelming urge to make a joke out of the situation. “And I definitely don’t want you to leave,” he ended in a whisper. Was this what making yourself vulnerable felt like? It sucked.

However, the look in Roman’s eyes was definitely worth the effort, as was the little quirk upwards of the Prince’s lips. “Thank you, Virgil, Your forgiveness isn’t deserved, but it is an honor to receive nonetheless.”

 

Virgil shrugged, trying his best not to break under the steady glow of Roman’s attention. Was this what all of his ‘prince’s’ felt like? No wonder Roman was so full of himself all the time. 

 

However, Princey looked unsure of himself right now, biting his lip as if he was still debating whether or not to say what he thought next. “Virgil, do you wish to… talk about anything that happened earlier?”

 Virgil stiffened, muscles tensing. Just like that, the warm, fuzzy feeling had flown right out the window, replaced with all the fear and insecurity of several minutes ago. Well, it was nice while it lasted.

 

“I know I’m no Patton, and I might not be that great at listening, but I would still like to try for you, Virge,” Roman continued softly, as his thumbs stroked circles in the skin of Virgil’s icy hands. “I want to understand what’s going on in your head.” 

 

Virgil wrenched his hands away, hating the way it made Princey’s face fall. “You wouldn’t understand, Roman.” He muttered defensively, shifting as he crossed his arms over his chest. 

 

“Maybe not, but I want to!” Roman implored earnestly. “Virgil, I’ve only just realized that I know next to nothing about what your life was like before you came to live with us. I know nothing of the challenges you may have faced in that dreadful place, and I wish for you to tell me!” 

 

“Why do you care, Roman?” Virgil bit out angrily. He wanted to scream in frustration. Why couldn’t Roman just butt out? He was making this harder than it had to be.

 

“Because I wish to know what has made you so afraid of that place-“ 

 

Virgil snapped, and began hissing furiously at Roman. “No, you clueless moron, why do you care about me? Why are you pretending like you give a shit about my reasons why, why don’t you just tell me to fuck off and deal with it already?” 

 

Roman tried to interject, but Virgil was on a roll. He stepped forward and began jabbing a finger into Roman’s chest as angry tears finally spilled over the edge and ran down his cheeks.

 

“I know for a fact you’ve never liked me, and so you probably think it’s pretty fucking funny to mess with me like this when you know how I feel, but for the love of god, would you stop _pretending_ like you care?” 

 

Roman caught Virgil’s hand in his, guiding it away from where he had started hitting weakly at Roman’s chest. “Virgil, please, you need to calm down, this much stress in one day can't be good for you-“ 

 

Virgil didn’t even know what he was doing anymore. It was the middle of the night, and he was whisper screaming nonsense at a concerned-looking and surely undeserving Roman. “Oh, you want me to calm down? Huh? Is that what you want?” He hissed out sarcastically. "That would be _so_ much easier for you, wouldn't it?"

 

Roman nodded hesitantly, having wisely gone silent, but eyes revealing his state of increasing panic. Virgil was getting to him, he could see it. 

 

Later, Virgil would realize with a cold shiver that he knew exactly why he had said it: he wanted to make Roman do it. He wanted to push him over the edge of not knowing how to deal with Virgil’s bullshit, to make him frustrated and just _get it over with_ already. He wanted to get him to prove Virgil right, to do what everyone really wants to do with him at the end of the day. To stop prolonging the inevitable. 

 

“ **Then why don’t you _make me_**.” 

 

A long dead reflex resurrected to make Virgil close his eyes. He anticipated what was to come when he saw the shift of decision occur in Roman’s eyes, knowing that the Prince had broken and would finally act on his impulse. Virgil couldn't help but be sickened at the thought of how he was actually fucked up enough that he _wanted_ this to happen, wanted to have the chance at happiness torn away from him like this. He waited a moment that felt like an eternity for the familiar bite of skin on skin, followed by a rush of blood and a swell of tears. He waited to feel what he _deserved._  

He waited, and waited, and waited forever for a moment that never came. 

He felt something alright, but he didn't recognize it at all. 

 

One warm hand resting gently on the side of his face.

Another reaching around to cradle the back of his neck. 

The press of warm lips against his, firmly yet softly. 

Warm breath on his cheek as he backed away, after what could have been seconds, minutes, or hours for all Virgil knew. 

 

The sensations disappeared before Virgil could even begin to consider sinking into their molten comfort, too quickly for him to process them at all. His eyelids fluttered open to see Roman, who looked to be about as pale as a sheet while backing away from Virgil slowly.

“I’m… so sorry, I shouldn’t have- I panicked,” Roman fumbled over his words, barely managing to breathe them out. 

 

Virgil said nothing, face alarmingly neutral as he touched his lips gently with the pads of his fingers, trying to figure out if he was imagining the ghost of the kiss that floated there. _Was it supposed to feel like that?_

 

Roman looked like he was about to cry. “This isn’t how I wanted to-“ he cut himself off as his voice cracked, looking down at the ground. “I’m so sorry, I’ll just…” 

 

By the time Virgil found his voice again, before he could even think to tell the Light Side to _just wait_ , Roman had already sunk out. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, tell me what you think please! <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman and Logan butt heads on how to handle Virgil's PTSD episode. 
> 
> The tension has a noticeable effect on "Why do we get out of bed in the morning?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many details in the latest video! 
> 
> If you haven't seen it yet, you can watch it here: 
> 
> https://youtu.be/N8h1LiMTGR0

 

“You did WHAT?” 

 

Roman winced at Logan's uncharacteristically loud volume. He had a raging headache after tossing and turning all night, and he could tell that Logan was not at all prepared to make that any easier for him. “I said-“ 

 

“I know what you said, I am merely expressing my incredulousness as to WHY you would do such a thing.” 

 

Logan crossed his arms where he sat at the dining table, glowering heavily at Roman. Roman sat across from him, slouched rather defeatedly in his usual seat, while the slight clinking sounds from over by the counter indicated that Patton was still making coffee. 

 

Roman was starting to wonder if telling them about his royal blunder last night had been a good idea. 

 

“I just thought-“ 

 

“No, you _didn’t_ think, at all!” Logan cut him off. “You never do, that is the problem with you.” He shook his head, looking up at the ceiling in frustration. “I knew I shouldn’t have let you stay outside his door all night, such a foolish oversight, on my part."

 

Roman gasped in offense. “Excuse me, you don’t LET me do anything, Logan. I am a prince, I answer to noone!” 

 

Logan rolled his eyes. “If you were really a prince, you would know that royalty have advisors and council people to answer to, halfwit.” 

 

“Now Logan, I don’t think you’re being quite fair to Roman,” Patton interjected before Roman could put in a witty retort, placing two mugs of coffee down on the table. Hopefully they wouldn’t go completely ignored. “I’m sure Roman had perfectly good intentions with Virgil, and you know that he’s had feelings for the guy for quite a while now.” 

 

Roman blushed. That was what he got for getting a little too chatty with Patton after a couple glasses of sangria. 

 

Logan clenched his jaw, taking a deep breath before speaking. “Patton, the issue here is not with Roman’s intentions, but with his neglect of the circumstances at hand. Virgil clearly experienced post-traumatic stress yesterday, which means that emotionally inflammatory behavior was the last thing that he needed last night to accelerate his recovery.” He looked at Roman pointedly. 

 

Roman narrowed his eyes. He didn't need this attitude. He had been kept awake all night with guilt, and endless waves of worry over having kissed Virgil…without his _permission_  no less. However he tried, he couldn’t erase the look of shock, the betrayal in Virgil’s shining, bewildered eyes. He couldn't get the image, both beautiful and terrible, out of his head. 

 

It had been completely ungentlemanly of him, and… oh, Hades. Virgil probably **hated** him now, he probably never wanted to speak to him ever again! And after having had a kiss so rudely stolen, right from his soft, sweet, surprisingly warm lips…how could Roman blame him? 

 

Even now, Roman berated himself for thinking at all fondly of the moment. He had no right, no ownership to the memory of that feeling. He had no excuse for creating it, but still… it had been an impulse. A foolish, foolish impulse from the depths of his heart's desires that he had acted upon in desperation, hoping to calm the anxious Side by any means. So he really, really wasn’t in the mood to be berated about it from Mr. Know-It-All right now. 

So sue him, if he got a bit defensive.

 

 “I wanted to calm him down. I thought that would work, what’s so wrong with that?” He demanded from the uptight Side.  

 

Logan rolled his eyes. “Clearly something, or Virgil would have come downstairs by now,” he said drily. “He usually does make it down before noon, does he not?” 

 

“You don’t know that I'm the reason for that,” Roman bit out, to that smug, self-righteous Side. He couldn’t bear the thought that his actions had caused poor Virgil even more pain. “Maybe he's still thinking about that—that post-trauma thing.” 

 

“Exactly the reason why he should have been welcomed with a calm, rational environment, and not made to ruminate on events from his troubled past right away!” Logan bit right back. 

 

Patton looked back and forth between the two Sides with unease. “Now fellas, lets try not to get too worked up right now, shall we?” He said hopefully. "I don't think arguing is gonna fix anything..."

 

Roman continued on as if Patton hadn’t spoken, leaning across the table to glare straight through Logan’s stupid eyeglass lenses. “If Virgil’s so scared of that dirty, disgusting place, then I want to know why that is, Logan! How can I fight off this threat that plagues him if I don’t even know what it is, huh?” 

 

“Oh, there you go again,” Logan scoffed, waving his hand at Roman dismissively. “You always have to be the hero, don’t you? Why do you insist on making things harder than they have to be? I could’ve helped you figure out what to do if you had simply come to me first!” 

 

“Well, why do _you_ think that you know what’s best for Virgil better than I do?” Roman hissed furiously. “Why do _you_ have to be right all the time?” 

 

“Well, why can’t _you_ ever listen to me?” 

 

“Logan, Roman, I think you guys need to calm down-“ 

 

“Oh, would you be _quiet_ , Patton?” 

 

The room, which had been growing increasingly louder in volume, fell momentarily silent. Logan’s eyes widened in realization. 

 

“Patton, I didn’t mean to-“ 

 

“You’re upset, Logan,” Patton said, continuing on bustling about the kitchen with a slightly forced smile on his face. “I understand. But that’s no reason to be rude to me, now is it?” 

 

Logan meekly shook his head no, giving a slight cough as he adjusted his tie. Roman looked down at his lap, trying not to stare at either one of them.

 

Patton let out a heavy sigh. Now just wasn’t the time to let his feelings be hurt. He might be sensitive, but he was still smart enough to know when something wasn’t really about him. 

 

“I think we all need to take a step back here, and think about what’s best _fooorrr_ lunch! Are any of you boys hungry?” 

 

Logan and Roman glanced at each other, equally confused by Patton’s emotional whiplash as the fatherly Side ended his sentence on a seemingly out-of-context note. 

That is, until they noticed the quiet Side standing in the doorway. 

 

Virgil glanced around the room, eyeing the Light Sides that all looked oddly caught off guard by his presence. 

 

“What were you all talking about?” He asked suspicously, eyes narrowing. 

 

Oh crap. 

 

“The Office-“

“-I saw a dog-"

“-Climate change.” 

 

All three Sides stopped their impromptu rambling almost simultaneously. Virgil looked unimpressed, raising an eyebrow at a sheepish, nervous Patton while Roman furiously mouthed _Climate change??_ at Logan. 

 

“You’re all terrible liars,” Virgil stated in a raspy monotone. “But I’m too tired to care right now, so I’ll be taking this-“ his hoodie-draped hand snatched a mug of coffee from the table, “and going back to my room. Call me if you need help with the video.” And with a lazy peace-sign, the small, violet-shaded Side slumped back out the kitchen door. 

 

As soon as Virgil was gone, Roman turned to Logan in a panic. “Did he look mad? Was he looking at me? I couldn’t tell, Logan was he looking at me?” Roman whispered. 

 

Logan groaned. “I simply cannot deal with you and your... frivolous concerns, right now, Roman.” He stood up from the table, chair scraping on the tiles as he straightened himself out. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go help Thomas with his disaster of a video. I’ll summon you if I need you, though I can’t imagine I will.” 

 

Before Roman could even get a word in edge-wise, Logan had sunk out. 

 

“Self-righteous prick,” Roman muttered. 

 

 

—

 

The video had been… tense, to say the least. 

He had noticed it. 

Thomas had noticed it. 

Heck, the viewers were probably going to notice it too. 

 

From the moment Roman had been (quite painfully) yanked into the video, he and Logan had been on a knife’s edge with each other. They had already been disagreeing on the right way to handle helping Virgil, and now Thomas too? It was simply too much. 

 

Roman could admit, it was scary seeing Logan lose his cool. For someone who claimed not to have a good handle on “feelings,” he sure knew how to bottle up some animosity. Well, at least towards Roman, that was. 

 

I mean, goodness. Was it so hard to ask the Side to respect Thomas’s hopes and dreams? That was the whole point of Roman’s existence! To help Thomas achieve what he wanted to achieve in life, do what he wanted to do, give him purpose, for God’s sake! If Logan’s idea of an ideal life was Thomas simply… surviving, well then that was no way to live.  

 

And then Virgil had to show up for a moment, and make Roman look at his stupid, pretty face again. His stupid, pretty face that Roman just wanted to kiss again and again until he fixed all of the problems he had caused. It was all too much, too much, too damn much… 

 

At the end of the video, when Thomas decided to compromise between them and commented innocently that they made a great team, Roman allowed the anger and frustration that gripped his heart like a vice to finally release. He looked Logan in the eye and saw the same things that he felt in his heart of hearts: fear, concern, care. Roman sighed, sinking reluctantly into the long-awaited clarity. 

 

Logan wasn’t the enemy here. 

 

Logan was his friend. His nerdy, annoying, friend that could actually, probably, maybe… help him here. 

 

When they both sunk back to the Conscious Space, they found themselves alone in the living room, sat on opposite sides of the couch. 

 

“I imagine Patton and Virgil are off somewhere throwing shadows at us,” Logan said quietly, fussing with his glasses. 

 

“It’s ‘throwing shade,’ but you were close,” Roman said, not unkindly. “And I imagine that we deserve it. We’ve been a right couple of tools to them, today."

 

“On the contrary, tools are useful and valuable, we have been anything but.” 

 

“No, I-“ Roman paused before sighing. “Yes, of course, you’re right.” 

 

“Thank you,” Logan said politely. 

 

There was a moment of silence, but Roman figured he deserved to be the one to have to break it this time. “Listen, I’m sorry about what I said in there. I’m just- I’m so scared for him, Logan.” 

 

Logan didn’t need to ask to know that Roman wasn’t talking about Thomas. “I am too,” he said quietly. 

 

Roman hesitated, before asking what had been bothering him for the past half hour. “Is that true, what you said in there? About Thomas’s anxiety?” 

 

Logan looked over at Roman. “Which part?” 

 

“That if Thomas got super famous and successful like I want him to, his anxiety would be worse.” Roman wrung his hands out in distress. “Am I bad for him, Logan? Am I hurting Virgil?” His voice cracked. “Am I the reason this is happening to him?” 

 

Logan sighed, looking at Roman sympathetically. “No, Roman. I don’t think you are the cause of this.” 

 

“But I-“ 

 

“You may push Thomas towards some… unrealistic goals, sometimes. But that’s nothing Virgil hasn’t been able to handle before. On the contrary, I believe that the two of you keep each other’s functions in check, which is quite helpful for me, if I’m being honest.” 

 

Roman pouted. “But then why, why is this happening to him? I just want to fix it for him, Logan!” he pleaded. 

 

Logan rubbed his eyes tiredly beneath his glasses. “See, that’s what I don’t understand about you, Roman. Why do you have to take care of everything yourself? Why can’t you let me help you? Did you not think I could provide some valuable insight?” 

 

Roman frowned a bit deeper. “No, I did…” 

 

“Did you not think that I might wish to ease my friend’s distress as well? Why wouldn’t you even give me the chance to try, Roman?” he said heavily, hurt apparent in his voice. 

 

Roman whined, allowing himself to fall face first onto the couch right beside Logan’s lap. “I don’t knowww Logan! Love makes me do stupid things sometimes,” he mumbled into the cushion. “Do you know anything about love?”

 

Logan sighed, any residual anger at his fellow Side fading as he sympathized with the struggle of feelings. “Unfortunately, not much. I certainly wish I did.”

 

Roman picked his chin up slightly to look at the be speckled Side. “Hm? Why’s that?” 

 

“Unimportant,” Logan said a bit too quickly. Roman made a note to look into that later, when there were less pressing matters at hand. “However, I do know a bit about trauma, and I think that can help us to figure out how best to deal with the aftermath of Virgil’s struggles.” 

 

Roman sighed. “Good. I just want him to be happy, Logan. Now we just have to find out what caused it.”

 

Logan looked back down at Roman, confused. “Wait, is it not obvious?” 

 

“Is what not obvious.”

 

“The cause of Virgil’s trauma.” 

 

Roman scrambled up to sitting position. “You mean you _knew_ this whole time?” he all but shrieked.

 

Logan blinked. “I simply put together clues from Virgil’s behavior and what you and Patton have told me, it seemed fairly obvious-“ 

 

“Stop assuming things are obvious, calculator watch!” Roman exclaimed in annoyance, heart suddenly beating at a lightening fast pace. This was it! “If you knew this whole time, why haven’t you told me so that I can vanquish the threat?” 

 

Logan sighed. “Because it isn’t so simple as fighting a dragon, Roman. And I don’t think you’ll be too happy with what I tell you, and what Virgil needs from us right now is to be calm-“ 

 

“I can be calm!” Roman shouted with his arms gesticulating wildly, before catching himself, holding up a hand for a moment, and then continuing. “I can be calm,” he said much more quietly. “Now will you please tell me what you think you know?"

 

Logan looked at though he didn’t quite believe Roman. Regardless. “You must promise not to do anything rash, okay?"

 

Roman nodded. “I promise.” 

 

“We’ll work on resolving this issue as a team, yes?” 

 

Roman crossed his heart with his hand. “On my honor.” 

 

“Very well.” Logan nodded, before looking Roman in the eyes cautiously. “You recall hearing mentions of Virgil’s ex-boyfriend, yes?” 

 

Roman felt the familiar twinge of jealousy and annoyance in his heart, but brushed it aside. “Yes, what about him?” 

 

Logan took a balanced breath. “Well, given some of the behaviors that Virgil has exhibited over the last year…” 

 

Roman nodded frantically. “Yes?”

 

“And the details recounted to me of his episode…” Logan paused once more, looking at Roman cautiously. 

 

Roman rolled his eyes impatiently. “Just spit it out, would you?” He insisted. 

 

Logan cleared his throat. "I believe that he may have been… abusive, towards Virgil.” 

 

Silence. Roman’s face didn’t change. 

 

“Almost certainly emotionally, and…possibly physically.” 

 

Not even the slightest twitch. As if Logan hadn’t said anything.

 

“While the long-term ramifications of an abusive relationship are certainly harmful, it is encouraging that Virgil was able to get himself out of the situation at all. I believe that, with a careful therapy plan, we can help Virgil recover significantly from this experience.” 

 

Still nothing. The Creative Side was like a statue. 

 

Logan frowned. He probably should’ve received…some, sort of reaction by now. He leaned in to inspect Roman's face. 

 

“Roman, are you alright?” 

 

 

 

Suddenly, Roman's eyes lit back up with a flutter of eyelashes. "Oh, I'm fine," he said, meeting Logan's careful gaze with ease. 

 

Logan blinked. "Really," he said flatly. That was... unexpected. 

 

"Oh yes, Logan. I'm right as rain."  Roman seemed chipper, but there was something off about it. 

 

"I..find that hard to believe. I've just informed you of something quite distressing concerning Virgil." 

 

"Well, you better believe it, know why?" Roman asked him with a smile. 

 

"Why?" 

 

Logan never thought he would ever, in his life, regret asking a question. After all, questions were essential to the pursuit of knowledge. Alas, that is exactly what he did, as he was physically blown off of the couch by the sheer force of Roman's anger.

 

 

_** "BECAUSE I'M GOING TO KILL THE BASTARD!"   ** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think please!!!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grab some tissues, let's work out some issues.

"Patton, this is stupid,” Virgil whined. He slumped further down on the couch in Patton’s room, shifting around uncomfortably as he adjusted his hoodie. He hated how all of the floating fairy lights made his skin look even more washed out, and all of the moving pictures on the walls were seriously unsettling. He knew that Patton was a tad eccentric in his own right, but he still wasn’t quite sure how all of this didn’t overwhelm the softer Side every day. 

 

The couch that Virgil was sprawled on looked exactly like the one from Thomas’s first house growing up. Sentimentality had woven its way into the construction of Patton’s makeshift “office,” which was decorated with cartoon character posters and figurines from just about every movie imaginable. Virgil was almost too confused and thrown off by the brightly colored setup to properly dread what Patton was about to attempt.

 

Almost.

 

 “I know you’re trying to help, but I don’t _need_ to talk about- oh my God, Patton did you seriously steal Logan’s clothes for this?” 

 

Virgil gawked at the beaming Side that had just strutted out from his walk-in closet, clad in a tan cardigan, white collared button-up, and a pink necktie. Oh God, he looked like a high school guidance counsellor. 

 

“Oh, just a couple of old things he never wears anymore. I’m sure he won’t miss them!” Patton giggled, before coughing and putting on a neutral face. "Oh, and I think you must be mistaken, new patient, because my name is Dr. Picani! I don’t know who this ‘Patton’ is, but he sure sounds like a cool guy!” Patton smiled as he sat down in the plush, comfy chair across from Virgil, before leaning in closer to whisper: “Don’t worry kiddo, it’s still me, Patton!” 

 

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I know, but like- why do we have to do this? I don’t really want to talk about my whole…kitchen, incident.” Virgil grew a bit quieter at the end of his sentence. None of the Light Sides had seemed particularly upset with him over freaking out the other day, but he was still mortally embarrassed. He couldn’t believe he had lost control like that in a public setting. Now they were all acting weird around him… or at least, Logan and Patton were. 

 

He hadn’t seen Roman since the “Why do we get out of bed” video.

 

“Well, we don’t have to talk about that, Virgil,” Patton reassured him, whipping out a notebook with sparkles on the cover. “Your super-cool-friend Patton just noticed that you’ve been acting a little different lately, and could probably use an objective party to talk to about whatever’s on your mind. Anything you wanna chat about is fair game, kiddo.” 

 

Virgil sighed. “Patton-“

 

“Dr. Picani.”

 

“Yeah, whatever, but like it’s still you, that’s the problem. I know it’s you, you’re all-“ Virgil gestured vaguely at him. “Cheery, and shit. I still know who I’m talking to, and besides, you’re not an actual therapist.” Did Patton really expect him to suddenly drop his barriers and spill all his deep dark secrets to him, just because he was wearing a necktie?

 

Patton crossed his legs, giving Virgil a softer smile as he got comfortable. “I know its a little scary, Virge, and I don’t want to pressure you into something you really don’t want. But I really do think it’d be good for you to open up to at least one of us. And if it helps, I can promise you that whatever specifics you say, I won’t tell anyone else about. Doctor-patient confidentiality applies, unless you’re in danger.” 

 

Virgil chewed on his lip, mulling it over for a moment. The thing was, he still wasn’t particularly good at trusting people. I mean, look where that had gotten him in the past, right? Screwed over. 

But then...Patton hadn’t betrayed him before. He was too sweet, too honest. Plus, Virgil really didn’t want to hurt the little goof’s feelings by shutting down this whole thing. Patton had that dumb, eager look on his face that he only got when he really cared about something. Or when Logan made a pun.

 

Virgil picked at his fingernails nervously. He supposed, when he thought about it, all of the turbulent thoughts swirling around in his head relentlessly were starting to drive him kinda crazy. He had been hoping that if he just spent enough time away from that place, that all of the bad stuff that had happened down there would stay down there. If he ignored it for long enough, maybe it wouldn’t hurt anymore.

 

But he was starting to think that he was wrong. Thinking about Apathy, and all the nightmares that his last relationship had entailed was clearly no less painful now than it had been all those years ago. And it wasn’t just affecting him now, it was affecting the others. 

And… it was affecting his relationship with Roman. Or lack thereof, he thought bitterly. 

 

The thing was...Virgil wasn’t stupid. He knew that how Apathy had treated him wasn’t okay, that that sort of thing wasn’t ever okay. But… was Virgil really innocent either? He had done bad things too. 

Had he not done what Apathy had told him to do without question, like a fool? Had he not hurt Thomas and the others just as terribly as Apathy had hurt him? 

 

He could’ve fought harder, he could’ve left sooner, he could’ve done so many things differently.

_Why hadn’t he? Why?_  

He had brought it all on himself. He knew it. 

_ It was what he deserved. _

No one deserved that though. Ever.

_ You’re the exception. _

 

These guys, the Light Sides… they cared about him, though.

_Would they still if they knew that you were exactly the same kind of monster as him?_

 

 “Here.”

 

Virgil looked away from the spot on the wall he had been staring at, finally noticing a box of tissues being held in front of his face. Why was…

 

Oh. There were tears in his eyes. Fuck. 

 

“Sorry,” he muttered, snatching a tissue from the box before turning his face away to blot furiously at his eyes. He anxiously willed them to stop, as mortification threatened to make even more of them fall counterproductively. He was gonna ruin his makeup, goddammit. 

 

“It’s alright. Tears are just extra feelings letting themselves out.” Patton said in a steady voice.  Patton wasn’t freaking out, or…crying about how he was crying. That was unusual. Patton seemed so…composed. Professional. Just…taking Virgil in, without response or…or judgement.

 

It was really weird.

 

 “No, it isn’t fucking okay, Patton,” he said fiercely, wiping at his smudged eyeshadow. “You wouldn’t even be sat here in front of me if you knew half of what I’ve done. None of you would want me around, especially not Roman.” 

 

Patton hummed thoughtfully. “I think that we’ll circle back to this issue later. But for now, I’m interested as to why you said ‘especially Roman?'” 

 

Fuck. Way to go, Virgil, you walked right into that. “No reason, he just…um... did something weird the other day.” Virgil mumbled. Was his face getting red? Ugh, why was Patton torturing him like this? Had he not suffered enough?

 

Thankfully, Patton didn’t squeal in excitement, or laugh at him. He simply nodded. “And what would that be?” 

 

Virgil whined in protest. “Come on Patton, it’s not like everybody doesn’t know about it already. Why are you making me say it?” He threw his hands up in exasperation. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that Princey had laughed to the others about his hilarious prank the day after it happened. Making a fool out of Virgil, out of his stupid feelings...

 

Patton gave Virgil a soft smile. “What I have or haven’t heard from others isn’t of concern at the moment, Virgil. I’m more interested in hearing about the interaction from your point of view.”

 

Virgil groaned. Why was he willingly playing along with this again? Oh right, because his head was 50 shades of fucked up and he wanted to get better. 

 

“Fine,” Virgil muttered, sighing before beginning the story in a raspy monotone. “Princey and I were talking outside my room, and he was asking a lot of questions. Personal questions.” 

 

“Which I’m gathering you don’t like,” Patton interjected with a wink. 

 

The corner of Virgil’s mouth twitched. So “the Therapist” was cheeky. Good to know. 

 

“Yeah. And he started pretending like he was all interested in me, for some reason. So, i got angry at him.” He glanced up at Patton for a moment, continuing when the Light Side gave him a brief nod. 

 

“And, well… I kinda started saying a bunch of dumb stuff, trying to get him upset with me.” Virgil flushed in humiliation, ducking down to hide his face in his hands. It was all so fucked up. “I’m sorry, Pat, I know I shouldn’t have done that, I’m so stupid,” he said miserably. 

 

“That’s okay, Virgil. I’m not here to judge, remember?” Patton said softly. “Anger is a complicated thing, and people handle it differently. It’s understandable to feel like you have to validate your frustrations by getting a rise out of someone.” 

 

“But he didn’t!” Virgil shouted out, causing Patton to startle slightly. Why didn’t Patton get it? Why did he have to spell out the question that had been eating away at him for days now?

 

“He didn’t get mad, or try to hit me, or anything, he just kissed me! Why would he do that? I don’t understand, why is he messing with me like this, Patton? What kind of game is he playing with me?” Virgil pulled at his hair, groaning. He was so fucking tired of mind games. He had already had a lifetime’s worth of them.

 

Patton simply took a breath, snapping his notebook shut before leaning forward to speak to his anxious subject once more. 

 

“Let me ask you this, kiddo. What does it usually mean when someone kisses somebody?” 

 

Virgil grimaced. Patton was over simplifying this. “I mean… it usually means that they like them. But-"

 

“So, don’t you think this might mean Roman likes you?”

 

Virgil scoffed. There Patton went again, breaking the tension with Dad jokes. “Yeah, right.” 

 

Patton frowned. “You seem skeptical.” 

 

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Well yeah, Patton. There’s no way in Hell that Princey could ever like me.” 

 

Patton tapped his pencil on his closed notebook. “And why is that?” 

 

Was Patton serious? Virgil had known he was kind, and patient, but surely he didn’t think that Virgil was anything like the objects of Princey’s affections, did he? 

Virgil gestured to his general being, before looking back up at the Light Side in disbelief. “Come on Patton, look at me.” 

 

To his credit, Patton held his gaze firmly. “I am. And you know what? I see nothing that couldn’t ever be loved, Virgil.”  

 

Virgil was getting frustrated again. How was he supposed to get Patton to understand the problem if he continued to hold onto his naive beliefs about love, and more importantly, about Virgil? 

 

“Patton, you don’t get it,” Virgil seethed, tapping his fingers on the knees of his ripped jeans. “I’m not cut out for this sort of thing, okay? I’m not cut out for love, or relationships. I’m not good at it, I’m not good enough!” 

 

Patton’s eyes glimmered slightly in the fairy lights, but he blinked it away, pausing only for a moment before posing the quiet question to the room. 

 

“And who told you that?” 

 

Virgil stared at Patton, feeling as though time had frozen for just a moment. 

 

_When had the voice in his head started stealing words from someone else’s mouth?_

 

* * *

 

 

“How did it go?”

 

Patton sighed, slumping down on the kitchen table next to Logan, laying his tired head on the logical Side’s shoulder. Though he hid it well from Virgil at the time, their first therapy session had been very emotionally draining for Patton. Remaining sympathetic, but emotionally uninvolved… it was so hard. Especially when Virgil had started to open up about his dangerously low self esteem. All Patton had wanted to do the whole time was just gather the little Dark Side in his arms and protect him from all of the bad things in the world. But he knew that that wasn’t what he needed.

 

“I think you were right, Lo. I think he got hurt real bad.” Patton said dejectedly, loosening his pink necktie. “He doesn’t even realize it yet.” He started sniffling, getting a little choked up as he thought about the pain that their poor little friend had gone through. It was finally starting to make sense, after all this time. Of course Anxiety thought bad about himself, he had repeatedly been told bad things about himself for years! The thought was almost too terrible for his poor heart to bear. He was only keeping it together through sheer motivation, through the overwhelming drive to be there for Virgil however he needed.

 

Logan looked down at Patton in concern, hesitating for a moment before wrapping an arm around Patton’s shoulders. He patted his hand tentatively against the sweater-clad Side’s trembling form. This was why Logan, for all his expansive knowledge on the psyche, had asked Patton to be the one to approach Virgil for therapy sessions. Logan wasn’t well versed enough in feelings to be there for the anxious Side in the way that he needed. No, all he could do was coach Patton on some potential strategies and hope for the best.

 

“There, there,” Logan said quietly, as Patton turned his face into his shoulder. “Remember, any amount of progress is still progress, Patton.” 

 

“I know,” Patton said shakily, tears soaking into Logan’s polo shirt as he shifted even closer. “I just want to take all the hurt away from him, Lo. If I could be feeling all of this for him instead, I’d do it in a heartbeat.” 

 

“That is patently absurd,” Logan said sharply, causing Patton’s crying to falter momentarily. “I cannot fathom any scenario in which your being abused would be even incrementally better for anyone in this scenario.” 

 

To Logan’s dismay, Patton started keening even louder at his words, shaking even more violently. Oh shit, what had he done now? 

 

“D-d-don’t s-say that-t-t word-d, “ Patton choked out, hiding his face in Logan’s neck. 

 

Logan furrowed his brow, cycling through his last sentence in his head. “What word? Abused?” 

 

Logan winced as Patton’s crying raised itself in pitch once more. Yep, that was the one. 

 

The logical Side sighed. “Patton, I know it is a distressing reality to think about. But it isn’t going to be helpful to Virgil if we try and tone down the severity of his situation. He needs to understand the gravity of what happened to him.”

 

Patton took a couple of shaky breaths. “I know, Logan. I just-I hate thinking about it. How could someone do that to him? To our little guy?” He pulled back, looking at Logan with shining eyes and tear-streaked cheeks.

 

Logan reached out to remove Patton’s glasses, placing them gently on the table. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a black handkerchief, handing it to the sniffling Side that had basically shifted his way into his lap at this point. Not that Logan particularly minded.

 

 Patton dabbed at his eyes with the handkerchief as Logan tried to reconcile the realities that were fighting for dominance in his mind. The horrors of this world never ceased to amaze him, as well as the lengths to which people would go to try and make Thomas lose faith in humanity. Logan knew things like this happened all of the time, but he never quite understood why. Intentionally hurting someone who trusted you, grooming them to be emotionally dependent on you… it made no sense. None at all. Was it evidence of psychopathy? No, that was too reductive. Perhaps a result of a dysfunctional youth environment? No, that wasn’t cause enough either. What was it that drove people to seek out unchecked power over those vulnerable to them? Was it narcissism? Mental illness? A misinformed moral compass?

 

Oh, what did it matter? Maybe people were just selfish, and bad. 

 

People did so many terrible things such as this every single day, to people who had surely done nothing to deserve it. He knew this, this was fact. Thomas knew this, and yet he never lost faith in people. Why? Surely it was the logical thing to do? If Logan had it his way, he would hardly ever trust anyone, ever again. It was too dangerous. It made him too vulnerable.

 

And yet. Thomas still believed in people. Despite all the injustices that he witnessed in his life, Thomas still believed that people were good, that there was good in the world worth seeking out. And for the longest time, Logan simply couldn’t understand how. But he did now. 

 

It was because of him. The Side sitting in his lap, wiping away his tears to fight for all of them another day. It was because Patton was strong in ways Logan might never truly understand.

 

“Not everyone in this world is as good as you, Patton.” 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, your thoughts and feelings fuel my writing!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman breaks down.
> 
> Virgil gets even.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: non-graphic mentions of violence,   
> implied non-con

 

It had been exactly 7 days since everything Roman knew to be true had been changed irreversibly. 

 

When Logan had told him the truth about the anxious Side’s ex-boyfriend, Roman’s mind had failed to connect the words “abusive towards” and “Virgil” together. Try as it may have, he couldn’t reconcile the two images into one cohesive past. 

 

Virgil. The silver-tongued fury that defended Thomas from the dangers of the world. The glowering menace that would battle wits with him from dusk till dawn, only to turn around and meekly ask to borrow Mrs. Fluffybottom for a nap. Virgil, who proudly wore his makeup every day despite the strange looks it got him, and patiently explained how to use all of his products to Patton whenever the soft Side got curious. Complex, fiercely independent, emo-punk Virgil, with a warm heart that he only trusted to those he deemed worthy. 

 

How could his mind combine his picture of that Virgil… _his Virgil_ … with a victim of abuse? With someone who had been broken down and battered by the most barbaric corruption of romantic love known to mankind? The one thing that Roman loathed more than anything mankind has ever created?  

 

_Oh, but Roman, surely you can think of some ideas._

_ His skinny frame getting pushed around,  _

_his pale skin littered with bruises-_

 

No, no, no, it couldn’t be so. Virgil was too smart, too strong to ever let anybody-

 

_ Oh, so now we’re victim blaming? Roman, tsk tsk. You know that it can happen to anyone. _

_ You know the power of love better than most. You know what it can make people endure.  _

_ What it can manipulate people into doing, what it can twist them into believing. _

But..but that couldn’t be Virgil! That couldn’t be _his Virgil!_ Those people, they were poor, unfortunate souls, betrayed by that which they thought they could trust, but… they weren’t _him_. 

No one would ever dare to impart such a horrendous injustice upon such a lovely creature, or Thor forbid, raise a… a _hand_  to him- 

 

_But someone did._

 

Oh. 

_Oh_.

** OH.  **

 

And finally, Roman felt it. He felt it all. 

 

Grief for Virgil’s lost innocence.

Worry for the pain that he was suffering. 

And a terrible rage crashing through his soul, directed at the monster who had dared to hurt his beloved. 

 

When it finally hit him, he had been reduced to the absolute worst of his traits, to his animalistic need for vengeance. He knew nothing else than a need for justice, a _need_ to avenge the harm done to his love by whatever means necessary. It was what was right, it was what he _needed to do_. 

 

 

* * *

 

**“** _**I’M GOING TO KILL HIM!”**  _

 

_ “Roman, you need to calm down, you promised-“ _

 

_ “ **THAT WAS BEFORE I KNEW, NOW UNHAND ME YOU TRAITOR!”** _

 

_ Logan exhaled sharply, sweat forming on his brow as he struggled to keep Roman in his defensive hold. He knew that he had the passionate Side beat on technique alone, with Roman having gotten sloppy in his rage-fueled frenzy. But now, Roman was fighting against his grip with all of the strength in his being, as golden light started burning from his irises, growing hotter by the second. Roman was going to break free any moment, and go storming off to do lord knows what. Logan had only seconds to reason with him.  _

 

_ “Think about Virgil, Roman. He needs us to be calm right now-“  _

 

_ “ **I WILL BE CALM WHEN THE FIEND’S ASHES ARE BURNING IN THE FIRES OF HELL!”** Roman roared, wrenching one arm free.  _

 

_ Logan was out of time. He threw caution to the wind with a desperate pathos appeal: “Think of what Virgil would think if he saw you like this!” He grunted out, snatching Roman’s arm back as the creative Side faltered.  _

 

_ “I **… what**?” Roman panted, no longer struggling against Logan’s grip.  _

 

_ “If it is possible that his partner was violent, then how do you think he’ll react to seeing you in a murderous rage?” Logan said quickly, hoping that Roman would please, just this once, listen to reason.  _

 

_ And he did.  _

 

_ Roman very nearly collapsed onto Logan at the thought of Virgil turning his fearful eyes to him, seeing him as a potential threat to him. The idea of Virgil likening him to that monster- _

 

_ “No, I-I would never,” he stammered, turning to Logan in a panic as the logical Side loosened his grip enough for Roman to break free. “Logan, I’d sooner die than raise a hand to him-“  _

 

_ “I know, Roman,” Logan stated, wiping the sweat from his brow. "But Virgil may not, at least not yet. After what he’s been through, it’s possible he may not know who to trust. So if you want him to trust you, then violence against anybody, even his former abuser, is most certainly not the answer.”  _

 

_ Roman nodded, swallowing heavily. “You’re right.” Of course he was.  _

_ But Roman couldn’t shake this feeling. He was so inflamed, so enraged, the need to storm off to the Subconscious and seek justice was practically overwhelming. He paced back and forth across the room, trying to calm his itching nerves, but he couldn’t. _

_ He couldn’t trust himself right now.  _

 

_ “I need space,” he said, nodding to himself as Logan listened on warily. “Time, away from Virgil. I can’t let him see me like this.”  _

 

_ Logan pursed his lips. “That may be wise."  _

 

_ “Just take care of him, for a bit. I’ll be in my room.” And without another moment to spare, Roman sunk out.  _

 

* * *

 

After days of conjuring up false, gruesome dummies to brutalize in The Monster’s stead, Roman felt that he had sated his more intense frustrations for the time being. However, that didn’t make him feel any better about the current situation. Oh, no. 

 

For Virgil, who only deserved the most enchanting of romances, the most selfless and gentle of partners, had been cursed by fate to endure the exact opposite. Once Roman had hacked the last of his straw men to smithereens, he spent countless hours weeping on his bedroom floor, trying fruitlessly to fight back at his overactive imagination. 

 

What was normally his greatest strength in the Conscious Space had suddenly become his greatest weakness. The torture of not knowing exactly what Virgil had endured was provoking him to fill the gaps in his knowledge with his own fearful projections, each conjured-up image on the large film screen in his room more terrible than the last. Each false movie featured a faceless, threatening figure, looming over a helpless Virgil; the two trapped together in the loathsome underworld that was the Subconscious. 

And Roman was powerless to stop it. 

 

It was like that for ages, each floating memory of clues that Virgil had given towards his past sparking a new scene to appear upon the screen. Roman tearfully imagined Virgil getting manipulated, berated, yelled at, even shoved around, all the while too afraid, too anxious to fight back.

 

It was torture. Each new, imagined horror summoned a fresh sob from Roman’s throat, as he watched his beloved endure the worst that Roman could think of, over and over again...

 

The last scene that Roman was made to see was when he remembered their discussion of Disney movies, in one of the earlier videos. He felt his blood run cold at the memory of Virgil’s passionate defense of the importance of consent in discussing the Disney Princesses. He begged his imagination, pleaded with it not to think too far into it, but it was useless.

 

The former scene faded out, blurring into a different one. There was Virgil, and the faceless man once more, standing in a dimly shadowed bedroom. The faceless man shoved Virgil onto the bed and-

 

Roman whipped out his sword and sliced the screen in half, tearing the canvas to shreds and stopping the projection in its tracks.

 

His heart was racing, faster than he could keep up with it. His breathing picked up as well. Roman had stolen a kiss from Virgil himself. What if…what if he had…

 

After so many sleepless nights, Roman promptly passed out. 

 

* * *

 

 

He woke up  to a furious knocking on his door. 

 

“Roman, come on, you’ve been in there since last week. Thomas needs you for the new video today.” 

 

Roman dragged himself out of bed with a groan. His eyes were puffy, his hair was a mess, and- Ugh, he hadn’t even changed out of his clothes, now his tunic was all wrinkled. He stumbled to the door tiredly, pulling it open. 

 

“Didn’t we like, just do one? I don’t think I have the energy, Log-“ 

 

Roman stopped talking as he took in the Side before him, arms crossed as he waited impatiently for Roman’s attention. 

Eyeshadow circles.

Smaller frame.

Sharper cheekbones.

Purple-patched sweatshirt.

_ Virgil.  _

 

“Do I have something on my face?” Virgil asked flatly. Oh shoot, Roman had been caught staring. 

 

“Oh, ah, no, I just-haven’t seen you in a while, Virgil,” Roman stumbled out, as he attempted to compose himself. Why, oh why, hadn’t he changed before answering the door? It would’ve only taken a snap of his fingers! 

“Um, how have you been?” 

 

“Fine,” Virgil responded, crossing his arms over his chest and coughing slightly. “I’ve started seeing a counsellor, and I uh- think it’s helping.” He raised an eyebrow at Roman. "Not that you’ve been around to notice.” 

 

Roman flushed. What a fool he had been, cutting himself off from the others to wallow in misery. Logan and Patton had been getting Virgil the tools to heal, helping him get better during all of this time. Roman… Roman had been the same way he always was around here. 

 

Utterly useless. 

 

Not to mention, Virgil was such a stark contrast to the weak and helpless Side that Roman had imagined in his room. Here he stood, defiant as ever before him, already having fought his own battles and escaped his own demons, without any of Roman’s help. 

Was there no end to Roman’s foolishness? Would he ever stop imagining himself as the direly needed hero, and see himself for what he truly was? Would he ever actually serve a purpose around here, or did he only serve to mess things up?  

 

“Hey, earth to Princey. What’s with you today?” 

 

Roman was startled by a pale hand waving in front of his face. He drew his attention back to Virgil, focusing back in on his warm brown eyes, his dark lashes, his soft, thin lips…

 

“Fuck! I’m so sorry, Virgil!” Roman gasped out suddenly, causing Virgil’s eyes to widen slightly.  

 

“Woah, watch the French and stick to Spanish, Princey. You’re kinda stealing my thing,” Virgil mumbled with a mildly pleased smile. 

 

“Yes, that’s exactly it, Virgil! I stole something from you, and I fear you may never forgive me,” Roman said miserably, wringing his hands. 

 

Virgil narrowed his eyes in confusion. “Oo-kayy, then you can just… give it back? And we’ll call it even?” He shifted his weight from foot to foot, hands still buried firmly in his armpits. 

 

Roman met the Dark Side’s gaze sorrowfully. “Ohm but my dear Virgil, I have stolen something that may never be returned. Something truly precious.”

 

Virgil’s eyes flickered left and right, before turning back to Roman suspiciously. “What?” 

 

“A kiss,” Roman all but whispered, chin dropping to his collar in shame. 

 

“Oh,” Virgil flushed pink beneath his pale foundation. “That’s um- that’s alright-“ 

 

“No it isn’t, Virgil!” Roman cried out, causing the Dark Side to jump in fright. “I knew how you felt about it, but I stole it, I stole it anyways. I’m so sorry!”

 

Virgil started tugging at his sleeves nervously, looking at the distressed Light Side in concern. “Roman really, it’s fine. I get it, it was just a joke.”

 

“It wasn’t a joke, Virgil, there is nothing I've wanted more than a kiss from you,” Roman wailed dramatically, failing to notice how Virgil’s breathing hitched. “But I was a barbarian, a brute to simply take it away!” Roman fell to his knees before Virgil, throwing his face into his hands. “Oh, may Odin strike me down for my dreadful sins against you, Virgil!” 

 

Virgil rolled his eyes at Roman’s theatrics, rubbing a hand in his eye. “Would you stop being so dramatic, Princey? It’s not that big a deal. It was just a kiss.”

 

“But Virgil,” Roman looked at him with mourning eyes, drawing himself back up to standing effortlessly. “I must make atonement, I fear I may not live with myself if I do not. That kiss was something special, to be given, not taken. It belongs to you, it doesn’t belong to me,” he pleaded with Virgil. 

 

Virgil threw his hoodie-clad hands in the air with a groan, letting them fall back down against his thighs with a soft thwack. Uh-oh. That was his 'Roman-I’m-done-with-your-shit' face. 

Well… good. Roman deserved it. 

 

“Fine, Roman. You feel that bad about ’stealing' the kiss?” Virgil said in exasperation, cocking his head at Roman expectantly. 

 

Roman nodded eagerly. “I do, I swear I do.” 

 

“Okay, then you can just give it back,” Virgil said flatly. 

 

Roman sighed, shaking his head . “Virgil, I told you, I wish I could, but I can’t simply-mmph!” 

 

Roman’s words were cut off by Virgil knotting his fist in Roman’s tunic and yanking him down to his eye level, only to press his mouth against Roman's, fervent and unyielding. 

 

The Prince closed his eyes momentarily, confused yet unquestioning as Virgil’s lips moved his fiercely, stealing the breath from his lungs for two whole seconds of Roman’s life. Two, glorious seconds of nearly-crushing and dangerously-addictive pressure slotted against his lips, simultaneously dragging him down and drawing him back up again.

 

When Virgil released his tunic, Roman felt as if his face had gone numb. Or perhaps his entire body. His eyes were dazed, unable to focus on any physical object other than the alluring Side before him, who was swiping daintily at the corner of his own mouth. 

 

“There. I took it back. Now we’re even.” Virgil stated, only having to clear his throat briefly prior to speaking in a clear voice.

 

Roman stared at him dumbly. He opened his mouth, only to close it immediately after finding no actual words to speak.

 

“Video’s in two hours, so um… be ready by then.” Despite the slight pink tinge that resided in Virgil’s cheeks, he managed to give Roman a small smirk as he turned back down the hall, an extra bit of sway in his step as he did so. 

 

Roman stood alone in his open doorway, wrinkled tunic and all, for a good five minutes after Virgil’s departure. His eyes unfocused, his thoughts out the window, and the worries of yesterday a distant jumble in his head. 

 

“Okay,” he said feebly to the empty hallway, as a stray giggle escaped from his lips.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think plz!!!!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What was Virgil thinking?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while. Writers block can be quite the fickle bitch. But I hope you like this chapter, and I hope you continue to comment and give me your thoughts on how the story is progressing. :) Enjoy!

It was definitely for the best that Thomas didn’t have anything more stress-inducing than the filming of a promotional video today, Virgil thought. The Crofters video would be short, silly, and cute, which meant that Thomas couldn’t possibly need Virgil for it.

 

This was good, Virgil thought to himself, due to the fact that he was currently face down on his lumpy mattress, shrieking violently into his pillow. He was trying so, so hard not to think about what he had just done. But wait, no, by thinking about how he wasn’t thinking about it, he was now thinking about it again! FUCK! 

 

He began to spit some of the nastiest curses Thomas had ever heard into his pillow, hoping that the Side bouncing excitedly up and down on the bed wouldn’t hear it.

 

Which…yeah. The giggling Side that was currently shaking the entire, creaky bed was making it really hard for Virgil to brood properly. With every joy-filled jump onto Virgil’s decrepit mattress, the anxious Side’s limp, star-fished body flopped up and down slightly.

 

“I can’t believe you just did that!” Patton squealed, beaming pure sunshine out of his smile, before giggling into the palms of his hands.

 

In response, Virgil dragged his face up ever-so-slightly from its permanent dent in his pillow, fixing his horrorstruck eyes on a distant spot of his cobwebbed bedroom wall. “I can’t believe I just did that,” he said in quiet mortification, eyes glazed over as he relived the moment. Despite the slight shiver of heat in his chest brought by the recently-made memory, that tingly feeling was steadily being replaced by a heavy, familiar weight.

 

Oblivious, Patton beamed down at his boy, clapping his hands giddily. “I know! This is so exciting! “

 

Virgil managed to heave his scrawny form onto his back so that he could make eye contact with the emotional Side. “No, Patton. I can’t believe I just _DID_ that.” He widened his eyes in emphasis, feeling his heart rate accelerating already.

 

Patton’s excitement tempered slightly as he noticed Virgil’s paler-than-usual complexion, and rapid breathing. “Hey now, easy there, kiddo,” he said warmly, ceasing his vigorous bouncing and crouching down closer to the anxious Side. “This is nothing to panic about. This is a good thing!”

 

Virgil shook his head frantically, covering his eyes with his hands. “No, no, no, I… I don’t know what I was thinking. **I just- I just DID that, I don’t- I-I-I can’t** …”

 

“Virgil,” Patton said calmly, placing a gentle hand on the anxious Side’s arm. “Deep breaths, okay? Just like we practiced.”

 

Right. Deep breaths. Virgil could do that. He closed his eyes, doing his best to focus amidst the strong temptation to keep on spiraling. 

 

In for 4….

 

_Roman had actually seemed like he cared about Virgil’s feelings. He was so…romantic? Was that what romantic was like?_

Hold for 7…

_He wanted to kiss Virgil. Or at least, he said he did. Oh shit, he actually said that! What the hell??_

Out for 8….

 

_Oh for the love of all that is holy, that gorgeous dumbass wouldn’t shut the fuck up. Virgil had to do something._

Once he felt his heart rate return to normal, Virgil let out one last, even breath.

 

_It felt even better than the last time._

 

Virgil slowly opened his eyes.

Only to jump back in mild alarm as he found another pair of concerned, brown eyes boring into him from approximately 4 inches away.

 

“Uh, Patton? A little personal space, please?”

 

“Oh, sorry, force of habit!” Patton shuffled backwards on the bed several paces.

 

Huh. Weird choice of phrasing. Virgil squinted suspiciously. “What do you mean ‘habit’?”

 

Patton’s eyes widened before he started stammering awkwardly. “Oh, um, I just mean-you know how I always say, I um-“ Patton trailed off, before sighing.

 

“I like to watch you sleep sometimes.” He paused, before guiltily admitting: “And by sometimes, I mean…often.”

 

Virgil pursed his lips, tempted to be upset at the invasion of privacy. But then again, he probably should’ve expected no less from the overprotective Side. “Okayyy, I need to change my locks now, you weirdo.”

 

Patton shrugged jovially. “That’s fair.”

 

With a quick shake of his head, Virgil focused back on the issue at hand. “Anyways. Soo… I kissed Roman.” This time, he was able to mumble the confession into his hands without panicking. Hey, progress.

 

Patton smiled knowingly, before leaning in to whisper: “Just so you know, kiddo, I could feel you guys’ emotions practically screaming all the way from my room!” He giggled.

 

Virgil nearly smacked himself upside the head as he felt his face burning. Of course, he had stupidly forgotten about Patton’s empathic abilities. How embarrassing.

 

“Now Virgil, there’s no need to be embarrassed-“

 

Virgil glared up at Patton fiercely. “ **Stop reading me!”** he hissed, eyes flashing black briefly before glowering back into the depths of his hoodie.  Patton was able to discern something along the lines of ‘constant invasions of privacy’ from the raspy, baritone grumbling.

 

“Yikes, okay kiddo,” Patton raised his hands in surrender. “I’m done teasing, I promise.”

 

Virgil huffed, keeping his arms firmly crossed.  

 

“Now, its time to go about planning phase two.”

 

Virgil glanced up, interest piqued. “ **Phase two?”** he rumbled.

 

Patton nodded eagerly. “Yup! Phase two of you getting Roman to be your boyfriend!”

 

Virgil’s eyes widened. This was an unexpected turn of events. “Patton, I don’t know if that’s a good idea…” he trailed off. He hadn’t even thought that that was a possibility, to be honest.

 

Patton rolled his eyes at the befuddled Side. “What, were you planning to just wait around until Roman got his head on straight? That could take years, kiddo!”

 

Virgil sighed, picking at his fingernails nervously. Of course, Patton was right, but… “I dunno,” he said hesitantly. “I just kinda figured… it feels like Roman is usually the one who does the… wooing, in relationships.” he finished quietly.

 

Patton nodded eagerly. “Exactly! Which is why this is the perfect chance for you to turn the tables on him!”

 

Virgil raised an eyebrow. “Turn the tables?” That sounded particularly devious for Patton, which was quite unusual for him. He narrowed his eyes playfully. “Deceit, is that you?”

 

Patton gave Virgil a gentle slap on the wrist, which naturally contained all the actual force of a butterfly kiss. “You know it’s not. I’m just helping you play to your strengths, Virgil. You may not be a Slytherin, but you can be quite cunning when you want to. Why not use that for a little harmless flirting? Help Roman realize what he’s been missing?” Patton wiggled his eyebrows at Virgil. “I know you have it in you.”

 

Virgil shifted uneasily, staring down at his hands. Any successful attempts at flirting that Virgil had made in the past had been brimming with false confidence, and left him thoroughly shaken if they were unsuccessful after. He wasn’t very secure in his abilities at all. “I don’t know, Patton-“

 

“Hey.” Virgil looked up at Patton’s earnest face. “Don’t you want the chance to take matters into your own hands?”

 

What a loaded question.

 

Virgil thought back to all of the times in his past relationship when he had felt helpless, like he didn’t have a say in how things were going to go. He had never, _ever_ , made the first move, and he had never gotten the courage to take control of the narrative. Not until it was too late to be of any help, anyways. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, it was just that he felt like he would fuck it up if he did. That it would be better to just leave it up to someone who seemed like he knew what he was doing…

 

Look how well that turned out.

 

And now, here he was, on the verge of something new starting between himself and Princey. He had been so sure that nothing would happen because Roman couldn’t ever be allowed to sweep Virgil off his feet.  Virgil couldn’t bear to make himself that vulnerable again.

He was so convinced that things couldn’t ever be different than they were before, so convinced that he just didn’t fit into that sort of fairytale.

 

But maybe, just maybe… Virgil had been playing the wrong role in the story. What would have happened if the damsel had some tricks of his own?

A vision began forming in his mind. A different storyline, with a far more exciting chase. He grinned wickedly. _Roman wouldn’t know what hit him._

 

Virgil looked up at Patton with a mischievous glint in his eyes.  “How do we start?”

 

Patton beamed in triumph. “First things first, Virgil:  I’ll give you a dollar to go make a terrible fruit pun.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'll get through this dry spell of S.S. content together <3
> 
> EDIT: if there are any SU fans, the “watching you sleep” was meant to be inspired by pearl/steven. So like, creepy, but in an affectionate way


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan is happy for his friends. Really, he is.
> 
> ...But do they have to be so loud?

 

“Would you stop flirting with Joan? Talyn is right there, and they are judging Thomas so hard right now.”

“Oh relax, Virgil. Joan and Thomas flirt all the time, it’s just a bit of banter between friends! Remember that time they shared a shower with him?”

“Yeah, but that was just a joke for a Vine, they both had shorts on.”

A brief bout of silence.

“Right?”

“Weelllll- “

“What the fuck, Roman?! Talyn had to see that??”

“Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time!”

“HOW?”

 

“Could the two of you please just focus?”  Logan interrupted, growing more irritated with the current proceedings of the Conscious Space by the minute. The constant banter between the two Sides who were sitting in front of the T.V. was clearly distracting them from the task at hand. Normally, he would intervene and accomplish the goal of this video by himself in a timely fashion. Unfortunately, Thomas had seen fit to hand control of his thought process over to the two feistiest Sides for the evening, which made no sense whatsoever to Logan. Surely it should be somebody calm and collected who was calling the shots when Thomas and his friends were trying to play-

 

“Horror videogames,” Patton squeaked, wide eyes peering through the cracks in his fingers. Which surely defeated the purpose of blocking his own line of vision in the first place. Sigh.

“I’m happy that they’re finally spending time together, but why did it have to be horror videogames?” Patton inched closer to Logan from where he sat on the couch, quite nearly sitting in Logan’s lap at this point.

 

“I am confused as well,” Logan remarked to Patton quietly, both of them trying not to be heard by the bickering pair on the floor. “They both seemed so fixated on the idea of this video, and yet their arguing hasn’t ceased since they’ve begun.”

 

Virgil was sitting crisscrossed on the floor, gazing intently at the television screen, which showed the Sides what Thomas was seeing in real time through his eyes. The anxious Side watched the three humans playing various horror games rather gracelessly, blurting out random warnings about strange looking things to Thomas every couple of seconds. Meanwhile, Roman was lying on his belly with his feet in the air behind him, coming up with funny voices for the characters and creatures they encountered in the game. This earned him numerous flicks on the forehead from Virgil, which were followed by indignant noises of betrayal from Roman, and so on and so forth.

 

Logan grimaced. “And here I thought things were getting better between those two,” he mumbled. It was quite disheartening to watch them continue to fight, especially considering Roman’s fondness for Virgil.

 

He felt Patton lift his head away from its previous spot against his shoulder, and look up at him with a puzzled expression. “You mean you can’t tell?” the soft Side whispered.

 

Logan frowned. “What?”

 

Patton rolled his eyes, appearing to bite back a smile. “They’re flirting, Logan.”

 

Logan frowned, turning his gaze back to their friends on the floor. Roman was poking at Virgil’s knee as he watched the zombies onscreen.  

 

“Oh, would you look at him, he’s just trying to say hey. Oh... he’s puking on you. Don’t you just hate when someone projectile vomits on you? I mean, how rude.”

 

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Shut up, Princey, I’m trying to- AHHH what the fuck was that!?!” Virgil scrambled backwards on his hands several paces, nearly kicking Roman in the face in the process.

 

Logan looked back over to Patton. “That’s flirting?” He questioned quietly. “Are you sure?”

 

Patton nodded eagerly. “Everybody flirts differently. Some people can’t even see it if it’s right under their noses.”

 

Logan pondered this new information, as a very warm Patton continued to cuddle into his side while watching the television. Hm. Well, this certainly explained what Logan had witnessed in the kitchen the other day. 

 

* * *

 

 

_Logan had been making a point of getting up earlier than Patton for the last week. Perhaps it wasn’t the most rational thing, but he just couldn’t stop himself from blushing whenever Patton fawned over the small likeness of Logan on his Crofter’s Jam._

_Therefore, he made the decision to avoid the encounter altogether by having his toast prepared before the moral Side even got to the kitchen._

_He was not alone on the ground floor that morning, even at the early hour. It seemed that Roman had stayed up working all night in the living room, trying to come up with some promising concepts for the next Sanders shorts._

_Logan had been pleasantly surprised to find that Roman had shown a lot more focus on his work as of late. Even now, the creative Side was sprawled on his stomach on the couch, form draped carelessly in a blanket as he scanned the screen of his MacBook. No doubt he would be able to start drafting scripts within the next few days._

_Presently, Logan gave a nod to Virgil as the anxious Side entered the kitchen, sleepily rubbing at his eyes._

_“Mornin’.” Virgil blinked several times before looking over the counter to see Roman in the living room. “Hey, Princey.”_

_Logan heard the clacking of Roman’s keyboard falter slightly as he checked on his toast. “Good morning Virgil.”_

_Hm. His toast could use a bit more time. It still wasn’t at optimal crispness. In the meantime, Logan busied himself by retrieving his jam from its hiding spot, as well as grabbing a knife and spoon. As he was shutting the cutlery drawer, Virgil tapped him on the shoulder gently to get his attention._

_“Didja make any coffee?”_

_Logan nodded, turning to pour a mug for the sleepy Side out of courtesy. “Indeed.” He paused, remembering that Virgil’s preference in how he took his coffee often varied from day to day. “How would you like it?”_

_Virgil quirked the corner of his mouth up. “As dark and bitter as my soul,” he rasped as he took the mug from Logan, eyes flashing black playfully for a moment. Sarcasm, Logan presumed._

_As Virgil thanked him quietly, he heard Roman call out somewhat loudly from his spot in the living room:_

_“Sorry Virge, I don’t think Logan knows how to make a blonde vanilla latte.”_

_Logan sighed, as he dipped his spoon in the jam jar. “Roman is correct. My knowledge concerning the preparation of espresso-based beverages is quite limited.”_

_Logan saw what appeared to be a flash of annoyance cross Virgil’s face. This was unexpected, as Logan had never seen Virgil drinking a vanilla latte before._

_The anxious Side turned to the fridge to add a splash of creamer. However, upon closing the fridge door, Logan noticed that a different, more curious expression had befallen Virgil’s face. He then took a single step to the left, appearing to put himself in the line of sight from the window to the living room._

_Logan leaned against the kitchen counter to observe the unusual early-morning behavior, as he distractedly brought the spoon of jam to his mouth. Delicious._

_Logan followed Virgil’s eyes to Roman, who was staring steadfastly at the notes on his screen, mouthing the words as he reviewed them. Virgil tilted his face towards the window before speaking:_

_“That’s a cute butt-“_

_Virgil paused to clear his throat briefly. Logan used his (now clean) spoon to gesture for Virgil to continue his sentence when ready, only glancing briefly over to where Roman was now staring wide-eyed into the kitchen._

_Hm. Curious. Logan took another spoon of jam._

_After a moment’s pause, Virgil continued: “-tterfly, the butterfly that Patton drew yesterday.” He then gestured to the drawing that had been taped to the fridge door, which was indeed of a butterfly._

_A quiet “Oh,” was heard from the living room. “Oh” indeed. Logan distinctly remembered telling Patton to use a magnet for such decorations._

_A sudden “ding” signaled that his toast was finished. Finally, time to put this magnificent fruit spread to proper use._

_As his attention turned back to the counter, Logan overheard the following:_

_“You also have a really nice tush.”_

_Followed by a large crash._

_Logan turned around once more to see that Roman had fallen off of the couch and onto the floor, clumsily knocking his laptop off of the coffee table in the process. The creative Side was now attempting to untangle his legs from the blanket, looking awfully red in the face as he did so._

_Logan rolled his eyes. He didn’t care to understand what Roman was going on about now, but he was certain that Roman was being unnecessarily dramatic about something-_

“ _Hey now, fellas, are you all having another big ole’ tea party without me again?”_

_Logan’s eyes widened. He had to hide his jam, right this instant before-_

_“AWW, look how cute your little face is on the jar, Logan!”_

_The logical Side winced. Too late._

* * *

 

Logan shook himself back into the present moment, reconsidering the interactions between Virgil and Roman.

He regarded the two Sides presently. Thomas had moved on to a significantly scarier videogame, and Virgil looked to be pale and somewhat green in the face about it.

“I think I’m gonna be sick.” The anxious Side was gasping quietly every couple of seconds, eyes glued to the screen and unable to look away.

Even Roman appeared to be growing overwhelmed with fright, now sitting up perfectly straight as Thomas wove his way through the frightening maze of portraits and mirrors. “Things are not as they should be!” he exclaimed, clutching his tunic at yet another jump scare.

 

“Hey, Logan.” The soft whisper caused him to meet Patton’s eyes. “Do you think maybe we should give the kiddos some space? I mean, it is kiiiinda like their date night, after all.”

Logan frowned. It wasn't 10:00 PM yet, and there was a program he wished to see later. “I don't know-“

 

He was cut off by a sudden wall of horrendous noise. Roman had begun shrieking violently at the appearance of a demonic monstress approaching the videogame protagonist with a chainsaw, while Virgil shouted at the screen, yelling at Thomas to make them run away.

 

Logan immediately turned to Patton. “You know what, you’re right, we wouldn’t want to intrude on a romantic outing. That would be rude.”

Patton nodded frantically. “Of course not. Let's go right this second.”

 

And so, to the tune of Roman singing nervously and Virgil cursing frantically, they sunk out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't seen "HORROR VIDEOGAMES Through the Ages!! (Let's Play)" yet,  
> here is the link:  
> https://youtu.be/QmHzfAzO95U
> 
> Definitely worth the watch!!
> 
> Don't forget to comment your thoughts as always. <3


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something strange is afoot, on all Hallows Eve...   
>  
> 
> Directly following the events of "Learning New Things About Ourselves."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been a long time since I updated, I know.  
> But the same could be said for Thomas, so... don't blame me.

_The hooded figure sat draped in shadows; legs crossed, murmuring to themselves as the thunder twisted and rolled over the expanse of barren landscape. Below them, a sea of muted grey grass danced and shifted with the rising tide of the storm. A full moon glowed above them, enhancing the gauntness of their cheekbones and the darkness beneath their eyes. As lighting illuminated the night sky, they felt their skin crackle with the electricity in the air, and felt their blood begin to itch in anticipation of the witching hour. Their eyelids fluttered shut as the night approached on which the door between realms would be at its weakest, and listened closely to see if they could make out the sound of a lost spirit calling from the other side._

_They listened, ears twitching as a steady drum rolled its way across the field, growing louder and louder with every rustle of the trees. It grew rougher and more visceral to the hooded figure, as the ephemeral noises of the landscape began to give way to the obtrusive noise-_

 

 _BANG. BANG. BANG_.

_The figure let out a soft growl, a fierce anger swelling in their chest at the interruption. But the moon was at its peak, and they couldn’t waste this opportunity. They hummed a long-forgotten song beneath their breath, and attempted to focus back on the energy of the swelling storm, the steady movement of the clouds above them_ - 

 

 _BANG. BANG. BANG_.

 

 _The figure hissed, eyes snapping open. The wind slowed its howl, and the grass ceased to move. The clouds shifted to cover the once-glowing moon above, and the very fabric of the black velvet sky seemed to fall apart as the figure tore off their hood, leaping up to stride fiercely across the landscape, approaching the mountainous wall of obsidian from which the heinous noise originated. A pale hand leapt out from tattered, patchwork sleeves to grasp a silver handle, pulling the great door open to reveal the perpetrator_ -

 

“Virgil, are you in there? Cause I- oh, there you are.”

 

Roman gave the Dark Side a thousand-watt grin, seemingly oblivious to the daggers being stared at him from just inside the doorway. Virgil was currently throwing Roman his deadliest glower, as the hallway light flooding into his room continued melting away the fabricated landscape he had so carefully constructed.

 

“Roman,” Virgil bit out carefully. “I was _in the middle_ of something.”

 

“Something more important than _this_?” Roman held up the DVD in his hands, excited eyes grinning over the top of it. “I got Thomas to buy a new copy of Nightmare Before Christmas!” He giggled conspiratorially at the brooding purple-clad Side.

 

Virgil, however, didn’t take the bait. “I’m doing a séance. We can watch it tomorrow,” he muttered, going to close the door.

 

Roman threw a hand on the door and whined, bouncing up and down on his toes. “But Virgil, its Tim Burton! The master of the animated macabre!  How can you say no?”

 

Virgil leveled the energetic Prince with a deadpan glare. “Like this: no. Wanna hear it in Spanish? ‘No.’”

 

Roman opened his mouth to object once more, but Virgil placed a hand over his mouth and continued: “and before you ask, I can’t do the séance tomorrow because I want to have it done _before_ All Hallows Eve, not after.”

 

The Creative Side made a muffled scoff at Virgil’s formal address for the night of Halloween, and removed his hand from his mouth gently.

 

“Fine, if you can’t put off your spooky spirit thingy, then can I at least keep you company while you do it?” Roman’s face softened slightly as he gave the Dark Side what he very-much-hoped to be a winning smile, stroking the hand in his grasp gently with his thumb.

 

At this, Virgil sighed, looking down and away as he carefully withdrew his hand from Roman’s grasp. “I’d prefer to be alone, thanks,” he muttered.

 

Roman’s face fell, shoulders slumping in defeat. “Virgil, are you still mad about earlier?” Roman sighed in shameful recollection. “You know I didn’t mean you when I said I was the most imp-“

 

“Yeah, I know, Roman,” Virgil said tersely, arms crossing as he visibly tensed up.

 

Roman huffed, taking a slight step back from the doorway in confusion at the Anxious Side’s behavior. “Okay, well…” he trailed off, unsure of what to say at the obvious contradiction between Virgil’s words and actions. “I just couldn’t help but notice that you’ve been a little…short with me lately.”

 

Roman recoiled in affront as Virgil snorted at his last statement, rolling his eyes. “Well, at least you’re capable of noticing _something_ ,” he bit out.

 

Roman gasped, offended. “And just what is that supposed to mean?” He demanded, stamping his foot in frustration at his fiery paramour’s words.

 

“Nothing, just forget it.” Virgil lifted his hood back over his head and stepped back into the shadowy doorway.

 

Eyes widening at the impending retreat, Roman softened his gaze once more, reaching out imploringly for Virgil’s hand. “Hey, wait, Storm-cloud-“

 

Unfortunately, Roman’s usual term of endearment did not have its desired effect of placating his upset beloved. Virgil’s eyes snapped up to meet Roman’s and turned black. “ _Don’t call me that_ ,” he rasped, before slamming the door in Roman’s face.

 

* * *

 

 

“… And then he has the nerve, _the audacity_ , to slam the door right in my face! Can you believe it?” Roman exclaimed.

 

Logan adjusted his glasses on his face carefully, before turning his attention back to his book. “Considering the fact that I attempted to do the same thing when you first barged in here 5 minutes ago… yes, I can believe it. However, I must congratulate Virgil on being quick enough to succeed.”

 

Roman glared at Logan, who was sat upright in bed, doing his nighttime reading, steadfastly attempting to ignore the Prince-sized intrusion occupying the right side of his mattress. “This is serious, Logan! I just don’t know what’s going on with him lately, and I need your help to figure it out.” Roman stared at the ceiling in frustration, hands drumming on the mattress beneath him. 

 

Logan’s gaze continued running across and down the thick, leather-bound pages, never wavering in their typewriter-like rhythm. “And why, exactly, am I obligated to help you at this time of night?”

 

Roman turned his head to the side and propped himself up on one elbow. “Because my eye still hurts from your flashcard projectile, you Scholarly Savage!”

 

Logan sighed, putting down his book reluctantly, before Roman amended quietly: “and because I value your opinion greatly. Really, I do. And I know you want me to listen to you more, and I’m trying to right now, so can you please tell me what the _logical_ thing to do here is?”

 

Logan, finally won over, turned to Roman, regarding the desperate Prince’s plight. “Well frankly, I don’t see what the issue is, from the limited data that I have. The two of you have had disagreements before, and eventually reconciled your differences, have you not? “

 

Roman nodded. They had, of course, encountered some issues in their steady romance over the past few months. Virgil had trust issues for days, and Roman maybe, possibly, slightly… _hadahardtimeadmittingwhenhewaswrong_ … but they had been getting better at those things! At least, Roman had thought they were. Now? He wasn’t so sure.

“This feels different though. He’s mad at me, and I don’t know what I did. How can I apologize for something I don’t know that I did?”

 

Logan considered for a moment. “Well, based on the efficacy of our approach towards Thomas’s-ahem- _my_ most recent issue with not knowing what we don’t yet know is an issue- “

“Ugh, still so confusing.”

“Yes, quite. But based on the results we obtained, I would have to recommend a… conversation, with Virgil. About feelings.” At this, Logan gave a slight wince. “Maybe try talking to Patton about this?” He posed hopefully.

 

Roman grunted in disagreement, as he pushed himself upright to a sitting position. “Patton’s too close to this. He’s still Virgil’s therapist, right?”

 

To Roman’s surprise, Logan shook his head. “No, they concluded those sessions over a month ago. Apparently, Virgil’s mental health regarding his trauma showed significant improvement.”

 

Roman frowned. “Really. I… wasn’t aware of that.” He pondered this as he picked at his manicured fingernails.

 

Logan blinked twice. “Hm. I would’ve expected that you would have been privy to that information, as Virgil’s boyfriend.” Logan thumbed the edge of the page he was on thoughtfully. “If you don’t mind sharing with me, what sort of personal boundaries did the two of you set when you established your official relationship?”

 

Roman looked up from his hands distractedly. “Hm? What do you mean?”

 

Logan fixed Roman with a careful look. “Well, to reiterate my point towards what we disagreed upon today, Roman… going above and beyond with clarity never hurt anybody, and can often prevent unfortunate misunderstandings from occurring. Especially with someone so prone to overthinking things, like Virgil.”

 

Roman tilted his head in concession. “A fair point,” he admitted. “I suppose not making assumptions _is_ rather important in one’s romantic relationships.” He pointed at Logan: “still not agreeing with you on the metaphors thing, though.”

 

Logan rolled his eyes. “Anyways. So, what specific expectations and boundaries did you set with Virgil when you first asked him to be your boyfriend?”

 

Roman set his hand on his cheek, searching back into his memory. “Well I…” he began mumbling incoherently, eyes darting back and forth vacantly as he tapped his other hand on his silk-pajama-clad leg. Logan watched in concern as the color seemed to drain from Roman’s suddenly stricken-looking face.

 

“Ohhhhh I screwed up,” he whispered to himself.

 

“What’s that now?” Logan questioned.

 

“I SCREWED UP!” Roman shouted, scrambling and tripping over himself to sprint across the hardwood floor and barrel out the door. Logan let the protest at his compatriot leaving his door open die in his throat, as he heard another frantic exclamation echo behind swiftly retreating footsteps:

 

“ROYALLY!”

 

* * *

 

 

_The night was still, the air clear and crisp. The hooded figure poured a fine layer of ash onto the black earth beneath them, breathing in the rich, calming scent of burning incense-_

_BANG. BANG. BANG._

_Into the crystal night sky, the Dark Mage whispered their desire: “I’m going to kill him. I am so going to kill him-“_

_BANG. BANG. BANG._

“ _Okay, yep, this is it, I’m definitely gonna kill him.” The figure ripped off their hood for the second time that night, dissolving the scenery around them with a snap of their fingers and got up to yank open the door once more._

“WHAT?”

 

Virgil’s incessant rage was momentarily replaced by confusion when he saw Roman hunched over with his hands on his knees, taking great big gasps of air as if he had run there from across the Conscious Space. Roman looked up at Virgil, attempting to wheeze out something, before shaking his head and going back to taking gulps of air.

 

Virgil leaned against the doorway, unimpressed. “No please, take your time.”

 

Roman narrowed his eyebrows at the comment, before collecting himself and standing up straight once more. “What I was _trying_ to say, Virgil, was-” Roman took another deep breath-

 

“Would you like to be my boyfriend?”

 

Virgil’s remained silent, face stoic as marble.

 

Roman shifted uncomfortably where he stood, before adding on awkwardly: “Officially?”

 

Virgil remained silent, looking the Prince so steadfastly in the eyes that Roman felt as if his very soul was being evaluated at the gates of Ephesus. Truthfully, he believed that the second option would be less intimidating that his current predicament.

 

After what felt like an eternity and a half, Virgil finally spoke:

 

“ _Five months_.”

 

Roman winced. “Yes, I know-“

 

“ _Five months_ since our first date-“

 

“I really just assumed at some point-“

 

“Do you have _any idea how many_ times Patton has asked me-“

 

“I am really just, so sorry-“

 

“You absolute _dumbass_.”

 

Silence fell over the two Sides once more, before a very red-faced and sheepish Roman dared to try and meet Virgil’s stony gaze once again.

 

“So… is that a yes?”

 

Virgil sniffed, but affection was starting to melt the ice behind his gaze. “Fine. But only so I can break up with you when you’re being annoying.”

 

Roman grinned widely. “Deal.”

 

Virgil smirked, before a yawn stretched its way across his face. “Well, this has been thoroughly exhausting. I’m going to bed.”

 

Roman nodded, still grinning like a stupid idiot. “An excellent idea. May I…?” He nodded towards Virgil’s room.

 

The Dark Side raised an eyebrow as he considered it. “Fine,” he muttered finally, raising a warning finger. “ _Just_ to sleep.”

 

“But of course! What kind of Prince do you take me for?”

 

“The idiot kind, who can’t tell a girl from anything but her shoe size.”

 

“Hey! I’ll have you know that slippers were custom made, back in those days!”

 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

 

As they snuggled into Virgil’s blanket-covered bed, Virgil muttered sleepily to his stupid boyfriend over his shoulder: “I’m still mad.”

 

Roman smiled, wrapping his arm a little tighter around _his_ boyfriend’s waist. “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, your comments fuel my writing <3 So don't be shy with 'em!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm always a slut for comments


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